


Roll Back the Log

by monokowritesstuff



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post Q2, Slow Burn, and the focus is minato and ryoji anyway so, group chats, there are a lot of background ships at play here but tagging them would be a nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monokowritesstuff/pseuds/monokowritesstuff
Summary: What happens when you put three groups of teenagers who have saved the world together in group chats? Chaos. Chaos happens.
Relationships: Aragaki Shinjiro/Arisato Minako/Sanada Akihiko, Arisato Minato/Mochizuki Ryoji, Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Mochizuki Ryoji/Persona 3 Protagonist, Mochizuki Ryoji/Yuuki Makoto
Comments: 39
Kudos: 243





	1. hey, heartbreaker

**Author's Note:**

> woah it’s a chatfic. From me??? From me. I need a break from the heavier and more intensive stuff I’m doing (hence no updates .w.) so this is something lighthearted and easy that I can work on in the meantime. Also I have a lot of feelings about the persona 3 movies so they’re getting dumped here ;) this is very heavily inspired by the much better fic “Don’t Make Me Delete This Chatroom” by dots. That fic hit diff -w-

_**- Akirara** added  ** Minato Arisato ** to  **Operation: Get the Messiah Laid -** _

_**- Akirara** changed  ** Minato Arisato ’s  ** name to  ** Blueberry Bitch -** _

** Blueberry Bitch:  ** What the hell is this.

** Akirara: ** this is for you, dumbass

**Akirara:** the other wildcards and I have decided that we’re tired of seeing you pine

** Chad Dad: ** We tried to leave it alone but Minako and Akira couldn’t take it anymore.

**Strawberry Bitch:** ¯\\_(ツ )_/¯ I want the best for my lil bro

** Blueberry Bitch: ** Okay, but I’m not pining after anybody? I’m not looking for any kind of relationship. I’m fine by myself. 

** Blueberry Bitch: ** Besides, who would I even end up with?? Everyone in S.E.E.S is already taken.

** Chad Dad: ** Ryoji.

** Akirara: ** ryoji

** Strawberry Bitch: ** ryoji, duh

**Blueberry Bitch:** It’s not like that! Ryoji and I are just good friends.

** Chad Dad: ** Good friends don’t read each other’s thoughts.

** Akirara: ** or finish each other’s sentences

** Strawberry Bitch: ** or make [playlists](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VpawFbh3fGz5Wl6PJUHSB?si=_l2iHaLLQg2BScg2Cz2NsQ) for [each other](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/06TbGfWdE79wPiLb4JwJiN?si=UffyYM-9T1ietgjS-C0Zlw) that are obviously trying to say something

_**- Blueberry Bitch** changed  their name to  ** MinMin -** _

** MinMin: ** That doesn’t mean anything. I’m just being friendly! 

** Strawberry Bitch: ** you wouldn’t know a friend if it kicked you in the balls, toto

** MinMin: ** I’m not that socially inept.

**Akirara : ** when we first met I asked for your name and you grunted at me

** Chad Dad: ** You kept forgetting my name even though we’ve met a few times. It’s not that hard, either.

** Strawberry Bitch: ** our friends thought you were mute when we first met them because you just chose not to speak.

**MinMin:** Okay, okay, shut up

** MinMin: ** But I’m still not thrilled about this idea. Even if I was into him (which I’m not) he’s not into me at all. Or men. I don’t think? It doesn’t matter. I’m busy tonight so I won’t be able to participate in your shenanigans.

_**- MinMin** has signed off.- _

** Akirara:  ** is it just me or does that sound like a date

** Strawberry Bitch:  ** if you’re going on a date with ryoji you better tell us what happens when you see this message!!!!

** Strawberry Bitch:  ** or else you will face my wrath!!!

**Strawberry Bitch:** and you ruined the name order!! bastard!!!

_ - **Strawberry Bitch** changed **MinMin** 's name to **Blueberry Bastard** - _

_ - **Strawberry Bitch** changed their name to **Door Chan** - _

* * *

_**- Takoyakamaki** added  ** Ryoji Mochizuki ** to  ** fuck bitches, get money, be gay, do crimes- ** _

_**- Takoyakamaki** changed  ** Ryoji Mochizuki ’ ** s name to  ** moon moon -** _

**Takoyakamaki : ** okay listen up slut we’re going to get you a boyfriend 

**moon moon:** I’m not sure I follow. (￣～￣ ;)

** Chie Pet: ** We’re putting you into our care so you can stop being an idiot gay!!

** Trash Man: ** Yeah, it’s getting kinda painful to watch—

** Fook: ** and we all want to see you happy, Ryoji!

** Takoyakamaki: ** we all see the way you flirt with minato 

** Pocket Gremlin: ** and how your flirting keeps going over his head

** Foxy Grandpa: ** As such, we’ve decided to give you a small helping hand.

**moon moon:** Oh, no, it’s not like that! (っﾟ⊿ﾟ ) っ

** moon moon: ** I simply value Minato’s company a lot. Even if I was, ‘flirting’, as you say, I wouldn’t want to overstep his boundaries. I want to see him happy and comfortable, is all.

** Risette: ** god minty does /not/ deserve you. precious cinnamon roll. Too good for this world.

** Pocket Gremlin: ** i hate to break it to you ryoji but that’s pretty gay

** Pocket Gremlin: ** you sound like ryuji and inari when they talk about akira 

** Foxy Grandpa: ** I’d rather not be exposed. Our time of pining is over.

** Takoyakamaki: ** aaaanyway one way or another we’re pushing you two together because I don’t think I can stand another moment of watching you two pine and deny it

**moon moon:** I suppose I don’t have much of a choice, do I? (눈 _ 눈 ) All I ask is that you respect Minato and how he feels.

** moon moon: ** His trust is very important to me and I don’t want whatever... “feelings” that I may or may not have to betray that trust.

_**- Noir ** changed the  chat name to  ** Ryoji Protection Squad (RPS) -** _

** Noir: ** If you’re not stanning Ryoji then what are you doing??? Nothing meaningful.

** ProteinPower: ** Haru with the ‘hot takes’ as always.

** ProteinPower: ** did I use that right? 

**Risette:** sbashbsksbsjsbs

**Risette:** Aki you’re such a dad omg

_**- Risette** changed  ** ProteinPower ’s  ** name to  ** Dadkihiko -** _

** Trash Man: ** a dad? in this economy? impossible 

** Takoyakamaki: ** okay we get it all of us have daddy issues can we get back to the point,

**Fook:** Ann’s got a point. How are we gonna get them together, huh?

** moon moon: ** Wait, I noticed something.

** moon moon: ** Akira and the others are not in here.

**Pocket Gremlin:** well, yeah

** Pocket Gremlin: ** they’re being all exclusive with their wildcard group chat so we’re doing the same 

Noir: Hurrah for exclusivity! \o/

** moon moon: ** Somehow, I get the feeling this is going to backfire. But I’ll play along.

** moon moon: ** Not tonight, though. Minato and I are going to the arcade.

** moon moon: ** I’ll let you know if anything ‘interesting’ happens. 

**moon moon:** Sayonara~ (◍ ´ ꒳ `  ◍ )b

_**- moon moon** has signed off. ** - ** _

** Risette:  ** fuuka, futaba, you two are good at math. what’s the odds of them banging?

** Fook:  ** slim to none, I’m afraid.

** Pocket Gremlin:  ** f

** Trash Man:  ** f

** Risette: ** f

** Takoyakamaki:  ** f

** Dadkihiko:  ** b

** Risette:  ** theres akihiko with the spirit

** Risette:  ** confused as always, but he’s got the spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every chapter will have a song reference for its title. This one is Hey Heartbreaker, by Dream Wife~


	2. sweet dreams

_~_ **_Ryoji Protection Squad (RPS)_ ** _~_

**Risette:** gang way I’m adding hikari to the chat

 **Trash Man:** isn’t she a child???

_-_ ** _Risette_** _added_ ** _Hikari_** _to_ **_Ryoji Protection Squad (RPS)_** _-_

**Hikari:** hello everyone ^o^

 **Risette:** no cursing there’s an angel afoot

 **Trash Man:** once more, I ask

 **Trash Man:** hikari is a child, right???

 **Hikari:** >:0 I’m in high school like you are

 **Chie Pet:** wait really,

 **Pocket Gremlin:** did you guys not know this?? the hell

 **Pocket Gremlin:** i’m ashamed

 **Hikari:** :( i know my voice is small but jeez

 **Hikari:** by the way, who’s who? These nicknames are lost on me

 **Risette:** well you know i’m rise

 **Pocket Gremlin:** futaba sakura reporting in

 **Trash Man:** yosuke, no saurus

 **Chie Pet** : ch-ch-ch-chie

 **Noir:** haru’s here too! Makoto is over so i’ve been busy studying with her.

 **Pocket Gremlin:** ooooo haru’s with her girlfrienddddd

 **Noir’s Queen:** Oh, hush. 

**Noir’s Queen:** And who changed my name to this??

 **Pocket Gremlin:** **┐(︶▽︶)┌**

 **Noir’s Queen:** Damn you, Futaba.

_-_ **_Noir’s Queen_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Queen_ ** _-_

**Queen:** There we are. 

**Pocket Gremlin:** you’re no fuuuun

 **Pocket Gremlin:** hikari let’s match names since makoto is a party pooper

 **Hikari:** Okay :>

_-_ **_Hikari_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Socket Gremlin_ ** _-_

**Socket Gremlin:** is this okay :0

 **Pocket Gremlin:** perfect. this is why i’m in lesbians with you

 **Yukarin:** oh god they’re multiplying

 **Dadkihiko:** wait what who’s that?

 **Yukarin:** the girl from the movies?? Hikari!

 **Shinjiro Aragaki:** jeez aki it hasn’t even been that long

 **Pocket Gremlin:** OH GOD A NO NICKNAME

 **Pocket Gremlin:** HISSS HISSS BEGONE HERETIC

 **Shinjiro Aragaki:** quit it.

_-_ **_PeiPei_ ** _changed_ **_Shinjiro Aragaki_ ** _’s name to_ **_grumpy old man_ ** _-_

**grumpy old man:** real funny asshole

 **Risette:** commas, shinji-

 **Risette:** you know the saying we don’t eat grandmas here

 **grumpy old man:** i’ll eat your grandma junpei change my name back

 **PeiPei:** nah dude it’s funny as hell

 **grumpy old man:** oi hacker gremlins fix this

 **Fook:** i’m kinda in agreeance with junpei here - this is pretty funny

 **Pocket Gremlin:** bitch xue hua piao piao

 **Socket Gremlin:** ooh, i love that song!

 **Risette:** lsajhbfdafjkhlafljabsf

_-_ **_Risette_ ** _created a new chatroom:_ **_super secret new album party_ ** _-_

_-_ **_Risette_ ** _added_ **_Chie Pet, Trash Man, Amamamamagai, Chad Dad, Naotoh No,_ ** _and_ **_Kanji Port Island_ ** _-_

**Risette:** okay investigation team what’s the verdict on that being my next hit single

 **Chie Pet:** hell yeah!

 **Trash Man:** whatever you release i’ll stan you know this

 **Amamamamagi:** oh absolutely~!

 **Kanji Port Island:** it better be a good cover

 **Naotoh No:** I’m unsure, Rise… do you know how to sing in Chinese?

 **Chad Dad:** What,

 **Risette:** OH RIGHT HE WASN’T THERE

 **Risette:** you’ve seen that video with the egghead dude singing right senpai

 **Chad Dad:**...No?

 **Risette:** OMFHSOHDSIDSDLSDHDUJKSI

 **Risette:** SOMEBODY SEND IT

 **Trash Man:** _xuehua.mp4_

 **Chad Dad:** Rise… what did I just watch?

 **Risette:** my hit new resurgence cover DUH

 **Chad Dad:** Is that supposed to be you?

 **Chie Pet:** LOVYIJKSDVLSJDHBVKHSGDFVSDUHJSVDJSDHOSJBDLJHKSDH

 **Chie Pet:** HOLD ON

_-_ **_Chie Pet_ ** _has signed off.-_

**Amamamamagi:** i can’t believe senpai killed chie in cold blood,

 **Amamamamagi:** well she’s not fully dead she’s snickering really hard at her phone beside me~

_~_ **_Ryoji Protection Squad (RPS)_ ** _~_

**Chie Pet:** _risehuapiaopiao.png_

 **Risette:** FUCK IM CRYING CHIE I LOVE TBUIS

 **moon moon:** what did I come back to?? (・_・;)

 **moon moon:** oh, hello new person! 

**Socket Gremlin:** o/

 **Takoyakamaki:** first off chie that is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen you’re doing great sweetie

 **Takoyakamaki:** secondly ryoji how did it go what happened i’ve been shaking with anticipation this whole time

 **moon moon:** Oh, not much!

 **moon moon:** We played one of those virtual horror arcade games together 

**moon moon:** Minato’s really brave!

 **moon moon:** Though, he got really tired on our way back, so I carried him back to the dorms halfway.

 **moon moon:** He hasn’t been eating or sleeping well and I’m worried he’s getting sick. (´﹏` )

 **moon moon:** I was going to stay in his dorm room to keep tabs on him but Aegis wouldn’t let me, haha.

 **Takoyakamaki:** the cinnamon roll strikes again.

 **Pocket Gremlin:** gc name checks out

 **Pocket Gremlin:** also that sounds like the start of a depressive episode when’s the last time he’s been outside on his own

 **moon moon:** Oh, I’m not sure… From what I can remember it’s been a while, though. I might ask Mitsuru if I have to.

 **Pocket Gremlin:** yeah keep an eye on him 

**Pocket Gremlin:** and keep going places with him cuz once he falls into that pattern it’s game over

 **moon moon:** I’ll do my best! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

 **Fook:** maybe you should cook something for him! a warm meal might make him feel better.

 **moon moon:** I would, but… my skills in the kitchen aren't the best... ^^;

 **grumpy old man:** ill help

 **grumpy old man:** but only cuz the kid’s diet is shit and it’s deffo making him feel worse

 **Yukarin:** papa shinji coming in clutch

 **Pocket Gremlin:** pog for based shinjiro

 **grumpy old man:** dont

 **grumpy old man:** ryoji youre at the dorm right

 **moon moon:** Mhm! I went out for a little while to get some sweets but I’m in the lounge now. 

**grumpy old man:** im coming downstairs so be ready in the kitchen

 **moon moon:** Can do! o(^∀^*)o

_-_ **_moon moon_ ** _has signed off.-_

_-_ **_grumpy old man_ ** _has signed off.-_

**Risette:** y’know, shinjiro is really kind.

 **Risette:** even if he doesn’t wanna admit it, hehe~

 **Mitsuru:** Yes, isn’t he? 

**Pocket Gremlin:** woah mama mitsuru comin out of nowhere

 **Mitsuru:** Hello to you too, Futaba.

 **Mitsuru:** He may not show it often, but Aragaki has a very big heart.

 **Mitsuru:** I hope those two don’t make too much of a mess. Ryoji can be very… klutzy, sometimes.

_~_ **_Operation: Get the Messiah Laid_ ** _~_

_-_ **_Blueberry Bastard_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _-_

**Blueberry Bastard:** It’s nine in the goddamn morning and all I hear is the clanging of pots and Shinjiro being… Shinjiro.

 **Door Chan:** don’t talk about my boyfriend/boyfriend’s boyfriend like that 

**Akirara:** *minako voice* don’t talk to me or my boyfriend or our collective boyfriend ever again

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Tell your boyfriend to shut the hell up. I’m sure you can hear him.

 **Door Chan:** nah sorry i can’t hear anything over the sound of being buried in aki’s fat fucking honkers

 **Akirara:** god minako you have TASTE

 **Blueberry Bastard:** That’s debatable.

 **Door Chan:** cranky cuz you’ve got no honkers, are we?

 **Blueberry Bastard:** I could have some if I wanted to.

 **Door Chan:** yah okay sure mr i don’t care 

**Blueberry Bastard:** I care about some things.

 **Door Chan:** schoolwork and music don’t count

 **Blueberry Bastard:** What would you know, anyway?? You’re just as nihilistic as I am!

 **Akirara:** the girls are fiiiiightinggggg

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Look, I don’t have time for this. It’s too early in the morning for all this shit.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** It’s annoying.

_~_ **_Door Chan_ ** _to_ **_Blueberry Bastard_ ** _~_

**Door Chan:** hey, I know I tease a lot but are you okay?

 **Door Chan:** you’re not usually this grouchy. Did something happen with ryoji last night?

 **Blueberry Bastard:** No, I just…

 **Blueberry Bastard:** I’m not doing well emotionally. Didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m sorry.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** What kind of brother am I, haha. 

**Door Chan:** don’t sweat it, minmin

 **Door Chan:** how can I help?

 **Door Chan:** if I can, that is

 **Blueberry Bastard:** I’ve got a piece of strawberry shortcake in the fridge from yesterday.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Can you get it for me? I’ll share.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Wait, no, hold on.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Ah, Ryoji’s here with something.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** Some food, I think.

 **Door Chan:** wanna be alone with your boyfriend then huh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Blueberry Bastard:** He’s not my boyfriend.

 **Blueberry Bastard:** But yes, could you give us a moment? I’ll tell you if I need the cake still after.

 **Door Chan:** damn no cake for me ig 

**Door Chan:** but yeah sure no problem

 **Door Chan:** need me to get rid of aegis?

 **Blueberry Bastard:** No, she left sometime this morning. I dunno what she’s up to.

_~_ **_Ryoji Protection Squad (RPS)_ ** _~_

_-_ **_Aegis_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Ryoji Execution Squad (RES)-_ **

**Aegis:** I Refuse To Acknowledge The Previous Name Of This Chatroom.

 **Aegis:** What I Will Acknowledge Is The Presence Of An Unauthorized Person In Minato’s Room.

 **Risette:** is it ryoji,

 **Aegis:** Yes! Yes It Is!

 **Aegis:** He Is No Good. 

**Aegis:** Minako Has Forbade Me From Interfering, But I Find That To Be Unfair.

 **Aegis:** I Am Trying To Protect Them.

 **Pocket Gremlin:** ryoji makes him happy though right

 **Pocket Gremlin:** lemme level with you here ai

 **Pocket Gremlin:** i know ryoji was a threat before when the fall and all that junk was happening

 **Pocket Gremlin:** but he’s proven himself to be some good, right?

 **Aegis:** No.

 **Pocket Gremlin:** not even a lil :3c

 **Aegis:** Not At All. 

**Pocket Gremlin:** well i tried rise say something

 **Risette:** i’m sure it’s fine, aegis! he hasn’t done anything to hurt minato yet so it’s okay

 **moon moon:** I’m not going to, either. Good day, Aegis. (￣ ￣|||)

 **Aegis:** Do Not Speak To Me.

 **moon moon:** Aaaanyways…

 **moon moon:** Minato is doing better. He’s asleep right now. 

**moon moon:** _sleepy.jpg_

 **Risette:** U M ?!?!(!

 **Risette: @Takoyakamaki** COME LOOK AT THIS 

**Takoyakamaki:** RYOJI H O W

 **Aegis:** Move Him!

 **Foxy Grandpa:** He looks so peaceful.

 **Trash Man:** peaceful is an understatement??????

 **Fook:** that can’t only be because of shinjiro’s cooking…

 **grumpy old man:** its not

 **Pocket Gremlin:** ryoji how the hell did you do that

 **Pocket Gremlin:** how did you get /meanato/ to fall asleep in your damn lap

 **Pocket Gremlin:** also hikari this could be us but u playin just sayin

 **Socket Gremlin:** /)w(\ let sojiro-san know I’m on my waaaay

 **moon moon:** I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary!

 **moon moon:** Minato usually falls asleep like this when we’re together. ( ’v`*)ゞ

 **Takoyakamaki:** B I T C H?!

 **Risette:** IM SCREAMIHN

 **Yu Yu Sakusho:** what are you guys yelling about 

**Yu Yu Sakusho:** wait what the hell is that min

 **Foxy Grandpa:** Yes, it is.

 **Yu Yu Sakusho:** you didnt tell us you two were together

 **Takoyakamaki:** THATS THE THING THEY A R E N T

 **Yu Yu Sakusho:** what???? im so cobfused 

**Pocket Gremlin:** i can’t believe ryuji is a corn kinnie

 **moon moon:** Minato’s always sleepy, you all know that-! He says I’m comfortable to sleep on.

 **moon moon:** I guess I enable him with the hair thing but…

 **moon moon:** that doesn’t mean anything, does it? (๑•̆૩•̆)

 **Takoyakamaki:** hair thing??

 **moon moon:** Yeah! Minato likes… being pet, I guess?

 **moon moon:** He likes it when I scratch his scalp and stuff. Y’know?? 

**Risette:** ryoji mochizuki you’re going to be the death of me I swear

 **Naotoh No:** In his defense, I didn’t know that you and Kanji were hitting on me until you spelled it out to me.

 **Risette:** nao that’s d i f f e r e n t.

 **Risette:** we were flirting with you very clumsily 

**Risette:** these motherfuckers are practically cuddling

 **Naotoh No:** Touché…

 **moon moon:** I suppose it’s because I’m warm.

 **moon moon:** Minato is anemic, you know.

 **moon moon:** I doubt there’s anything romantic behind his intentions. (；´∀｀)

 **Takoyakamaki:** okay lets give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that’s true right

 **Takoyakamaki:** considering minato and his aversion to people he’d prefer to just have hella blankets in his room right

 **Takoyakamaki:** but he chooses to sleep on /you/

 **Takoyakamaki:** he relies on /you/ for warmth

 **Takoyakamaki:** as a gay? that’s pretty gay my guy

 **moon moon:** Okay, okay, you got me.

 **moon moon:** Should I stop?? I don’t want to push him away…

 **Takoyakamaki:** if this happens between you two a lot then keep doing it 

**Takoyakamaki:** stopping will make him suspicious 👀

 **Takoyakamaki:** but you’ve gotta acknowledge that there may be somethin there my guy

 **Takoyakamaki:** got me?

 **moon moon:** Gotcha. Oh, he’s waking up, gotta go.

 **moon moon:** Sayonara, for now! ヾ(*･ω･*)o

_-_ **_moon moon_ ** _has signed off.-_

**Risette:** you think he’s gonna be okay, ann?

 **Takoyakamaki:** do you want my honest opinion or my optimism 

**Risette:** both

 **Takoyakamaki:** not at all he’s the most idiot gay ive ever seen i love it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweet dreams (are made of these) - the eurythmics ;)


	3. shade

_ - _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Weenie Hut Junior, LLC_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ changed  _ **_Yu Yu Sakusho_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Corn Lad_ ** _ - _

**Corn Lad:** futaba why

**Pocket Gremlin:** you know exactly why corn kinnie

**Pocket Gremlin:** anyway has anyone ever noticed that yosuke ryoji and minato all sound like, exactly the same

**Pocket Gremlin:** with ryoji and minato it makes sense cuz theyre like two halves of a whole idiot but what’s the deal with yosuke

**moon moon:** I’m not an idiot! (*｀へ´*)

**Pocket Gremlin:** debatable

**Risette:** gonna have to agree with taba here

**Corn Lad:** after yesterday i gotta agree 2

**moon moon:** (;¬_¬) Thanks for backing me up, guys.

**Pocket Gremlin:** no problem dude

**Pocket Gremlin:** anything to say for yourself, mr hanamura

**Trash Man:** nope- dunno why that is, but i don’t hear it myself.

**Chie Pet:** now that you mention it they do sound really alike and I don’t like it!!!!!

**Chie Pet:** maybe if you hear it on a recording…

**Pocket Gremlin:** i’m on procuring minato’s already its downloading now

**moon moon:** _ blah.wav _

**Trash Man:** _ awwyeah.wav _

**Pocket Gremlin:** _ shhhdonttellminty.wav _

**moon moon:** Okay, now that you mention it, we do sound a lot alike… ( ﾟヘﾟ)

**Trash Man:** yeah that is a lil weird what the hell

**moon moon:** Wait, Futaba, how did you get that voice clip? And what’s he saying?

**moon moon:** I think I heard my name… (･∀･；)

**Pocket Gremlin:** dw about the how that’s not important

**Pocket Gremlin:** but from what i can hear and what my voice to text program is picking up he’s talking about you lmao

**Pocket Gremlin:** i think i can hear either takeba or fuuka in the background

**Yukarin:** it’s me lol

**Yukarin:** and yeah he’s talking about you 

**Yukarin:** i can’t tell you why tho he’s coming to me in confidence

**Pocket Gremlin:** ISSAT A CONFESSION I HEAR

**Socket Gremlin:** mina confessed? :0

**Takoyakamaki:** WAIT WHAST

**Takoyakamaki:** DID I MISS IT???

**Yukarin:** nobody said anything about that!! jeez…

**moon moon:** Let’s not get our hopes all up.

**Pocket Gremlin:** i’ll resist the urge to tap further ig 

**Pocket Gremlin:** but god i wish i knew the suspense is killing me

_ ~ _ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _ ~ _

**Blueberry Bastard:** So, I have a question.

**Chad Dad:** We’ve an answer.

**Door Chan:** what’s good bro

**Akirara:** spill the beans

**Blueberry Bastard:** How do you show someone you appreciate them? Lately I’ve been thinking about doing something nice for Ryoji as a surprise to thank him for putting up with me, but…

**Blueberry Bastard:** I have no idea how to start. I was going to get him another scarf, but Yukari told me that was dumb.

**Akirara:** gonna have to agree with her there that’s pretty dumb

**Chad Dad:** It’s going to have to be something more personal than that, I think.

**Chad Dad:** What does Ryoji like?

**Blueberry Bastard:** Sweets, mostly, but… That doesn’t feel personal enough, y’know?

**Blueberry Bastard:** I can get him sweets anytime.

**Door Chan:** is there anything he’s been making eyes at recently?

**Door Chan:** besides you lmao

**Blueberry Bastard:** Very funny, Minako.

**Blueberry Bastard:** But he has been looking at this book recently. I think it’s about phases of the moon? I know it was space related, at least.

**Blueberry Bastard:** Everytime we walk past Bookworms he always looks in there fondly like he wants something, so yeah. 

**Chad Dad:** There you go.

**Chad Dad:** You’ll have to be discreet about it, though. Ryoji is very perceptive.

**Chad Dad:** Maybe make an excuse about why you’re going, or have a friend go for you.

**Blueberry Bastard:** …

**Blueberry Bastard:** Minako, we’re kind of friends, right?

**Door Chan:** i gotcha you cur

**Blueberry Bastard:** You’re the best sister ever, Koko.

**Door Chan:** shut up you owe me one-

**Blueberry Bastard:** (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)

**Door Chan:** don’t ever use a kaomoji again i feel threatened,

**Door Chan:** but do you want me to get him sweets too it’ll add a lil more sincerity

**Door Chan:** and what’s this book called anyway

**Blueberry Bastard:** _ bookforryoji.jpg _

**Blueberry Bastard:** And, yeah, sweets are okay too. He likes chocolates and stuff the best.

**Door Chan:** gotcha

**Blueberry Bastard:** I’ll pay you back. 

**Blueberry Bastard:** And… thanks, you guys. 

**Door Chan:** Toto?! Getting sappy on us?! it's a christmas miracle

**Blueberry Bastard:** Jeez, Minako… Don’t make this any more embarrassing than it already is.

**Door Chan:** sorry, sorry, i just get really excited when you show emotion and stuff

**Door Chan:** makes me feel like i’m being a good big sister ;w;

**Akirara:** this is the most wholesome thing i’ve ever seen in my life,

**Chad Dad:** I’m glad we could help you, Minato.

**Chad Dad:** Although, I am wondering something.

**Akirara:** bestow your fatherly befuddlement upon us magic dilf

**Chad Dad:** Please don’t call me a magic dilf, that’s weird. I’m the same age as you guys.

**Door Chan:** in our defense you have the biggest dad energy i’ve ever seen despite having no children

**Door Chan:** i’m talking hawaiian shirt and socks with sandals in front of the grill levels

**Akirara:** callin me ‘sport’ type beat

**Blueberry Bastard:** I think Dojima-san is really rubbing off on you, Narukami.

**Chad Dad:** We don’t spend that much time together though, because he’s usually working…

**Door Chan:** who’s Dojima??

**Door Chan:** WAIT IT FINALLY HAPPENED

**Door Chan:** i can finally change my name to something else,,,,

_ - _ **_Door Chan_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Minakoko_ ** _ - _

**Minakoko:** freedom......

**Minakoko:** anyway like I was saying who’s dojima and what was your original question Naru

**Chad Dad:** Dojima-san is my uncle. I stay with him while my parents work overseas. 

**Chad Dad:** And my question wasn’t that important. I was just wondering why we don’t have like, a combined group chat with everyone?

**Chad Dad:** My team has one for us, and I’m sure you all have your own. But there’s none with everybody in it.

**Blueberry Bastard:** It would be way too chaotic. I don’t even want to think about having Futaba and Minako in the same vicinity.

**Akirara:** yeah there are just way too many of us for one whole group chat i think

**Akirara:** unless our teammates all made one and left us out of it

**Akirara:** which ngl sounds entirely realistic and plausible given we left them out of this one

**Minakoko:** this is a wildcard space only babey!!!!!!

**Blueberry Bastard:** Doesn’t that mean Aegis could technically be in here?

**Minakoko:** ... this is a natural wildcard space only, babeyyy

**Minakoko:** i love aegis to pieces but this group chat is Not Safe For Aegis (NSFA)

**Minakoko:** also she’s already everywhere else i go this is my one solace,

**Chad Dad:** Why does Aegis protect you both like that, anyway?

**Minakoko:** ryoji

**Blueberry Bastard:** And because of what happened like, 10 years ago with our parents.

**Minakoko:** she fought ryoji during the accident that killed them and ‘beat’ him

**Blueberry Bastard:** And she sealed him away in us. Somehow. 

**Blueberry Bastard:** I got half of his soul, Minako got the other.

**Minakoko:** and ig to prevent him from emerging again and bringing about The Fall she swore to protect us before losing her memory 

**Blueberry Bastard:** You can see how well that ended. The Fall still happened, Minako and I kinda died but then came back to life. And Ryoji’s still here.

**Minakoko:** y’know, typical sibling stuff

**Akirara:** i thought me and my friends went through some fucked up shit

**Akirara:** but clearly we had it easy compared to you two

**Minakoko:** it’s chill we saved the world and that’s what matters

**Chad Dad:** We thank you for your sacrifice.

_ - _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ has joined  _ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _ - _

**Pocket Gremlin:** Sasuke shoved his hands into Naruto’s pants and grinned when the blonde whimpered from his touch. “Already, Naruto?” he asked.

**Pocket Gremlin:** wait shit wrong chat

**Pocket Gremlin:** how y’all doin

**Pocket Gremlin:** wait no scratch that pretend i was never here

**_-Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ has left  _ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _ - _

**Minakoko:** that’s your sister akira care to explain what the fuck just happened 

**Akirara:** suddenly, i am an only child.

**Blueberry Bitch:** Wait Futaba and Akira are siblings??

**Akirara:** not really

**Akirara:** although for all intents and purposes her mom has claimed me as her son

**Akirara:** hence why i’m still in tokyo despite my probation being long over lmao

**Akirara:** not that i mind tho my home life is shiiit in inaba

**Akirara:** no offense yu i just hate it there

**Chad Dad:** You and everybody else that lives here, haha.

**Akirara:** but nah she promised to look after me and so did sojiro

**Akirara:** and i guess me and futaba are close like siblings?

**Akirara:** i sure mess with her like she is lol

**Minakoko:** no you two act like full blooded siblings

**Minakoko:** source: i am not only a sibling but an older twin

**Blueberry Bitch:** You’re older than me by 10 minutes. 

**Minakoko:** that still makes me older 

**Minakoko:** bitch

**Akirara:** pfft

**Akirara:** but sibling like or not i never know what’s going on with that goblin of a child until it's too late

_ - _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ created a new chatroom:  _ **_Hackers Anonymous (and rise i guess)_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ added  _ **_Risette_ ** _ and  _ **_Fook_ ** _ - _

**Pocket Gremlin:** i fucked up i fucked up bad,

**Pocket Gremlin:** i’ve partaken in the forbidden fruit of eden and am being punished

**Risette:** what happened, futaba???

**Fook:** is everything okay?

**Pocket Gremlin:** i was fooling around with the source code for our chat app to see if i could increase the encryption and also give myself admin status so i could change ryuji’s name to corn lad permanently

**Pocket Gremlin:** and i added myself to the wildcard group chat

**Pocket Gremlin:** which would not be a problem if i didn’t send my test message which is THIS

**Pocket Gremlin:** _ pain.jpg _

**Risette:** JBDUGLKJDBVYL>HJJSJFH<JDSHBFHSDB:SIFYISF:

**Fook:** OH MY GOED

_ - _ **_Fook_ ** _ changed  _ **_Pocket Gremlin_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Naruto Roleplayer_ ** _ - _

**Naruto Roleplayer:** FUUKA THIS ISN’T FUNNY

**Fook:** you’re right!

**Fook:** it’s hilarious.

**Naruto Roleplayer:** fuuka, why can’t i change my name

**Naruto Roleplayer:** fuuka yamagishi explain to me why i can’t change my name right now or so help me god

**Fook:** ;)

_ - _ **_Fook_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Naruto Roleplayer:** rise do something you two are friends arent you

_ - _ **_Risette_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Naruto Roleplayer:** fuck yall

**Naruto Roleplayer:** remember this and remember this well heathens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title ref is Shade - IAMDDB. An absolute jam.


	4. fever the ghost

_ - _ **_Risette_ ** _ created a new chatroom:  _ **_McDonald’s Polyamorus Playplace_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Risette_ ** _ added  _ **_Akirara, Corn Lad, Foxy Grandpa, Minakoko, grumpy old man, Dadkihiko, Kanji Port Island,_ ** _ and  _ **_Naotoh No_ ** _ - _

**Akirara:** the implications of the chat name both frighten and excite me

**Akirara:** is the playplace itself polyamorus

**Akirara:** or is it only for polyamorus people?

**Akirara:** i scream, for i do not know

**Risette:** thanks for the early morning existential dread, ren

**Akirara:** fuck i forgot all about that name it’s been so long since i’ve heard it

**Foxy Grandpa:** Do you have another name? I’m not quite sure I follow. 

**Akirara:** well, yes and no

**Akirara:** my real name (or, my name back home anyway) is ren amamiya

**Akirara:** but that’s dumb, stupid, and makes me think about probation and shit

**Akirara:** so when i got to the city i introduced myself as akira kurusu to distance myself from all that nasty crimeboy mess that ‘ren’ got wrapped in

**Akirara:** it didn’t work :^)

**Akirara:** so because i grew up in inaba around the time the investigation team was doing stuff 

**Akirara:** they call me ren and something else i won’t say because it’s embarrassing

_ - _ **_Risette_ ** _ changed  _ **_Akirara_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ - _

**Risette:** don’t be like that, renren-kun!

**Ren Mama Mia:** rise p le a se you didn’t have to slaughter me twice like this

**Corn Lad:** ngl renren is kinda cute it fits you

**Foxy Grandpa:** I must agree. 

**Ren Mama Mia:** i just can’t win :/

**Risette:** SPEAKING OF WINNING

**Risette:** I just remembered why I made this gc lol

**Risette:** i’ve been curious to know

**Risette:** in your opinion who has the best tits in your polycule

**Corn Lad:** yusuke

**Ren Mama Mia:** ryuji

**Foxy Grandpa:** Ryuji, absolutely.

**Corn Lad:** wtf guys wym

**Ren Mama Mia:** they are soft, supple, and firm

**Ren Mama Mia:** like warm croquet dough

**Foxy Grandpa:** You are very comfortable, Ryuji.

**Corn Lad:** thats kinda gay 

**Ren Mama Mia:** we’re gay together

**Corn Lad:** okay fair

**Risette:** interesting… anyone else got hot takes?

**Minakoko:** *cough* akihiko *cough*

**grumpy old man:** gonna have to agree and say aki

**Dadkihiko:** tits??

**Dadkihiko:** do you guys mean my pecs?

**Minakoko:** and this is why akihiko has the best tits

**Minakoko:** shinjiro would but he’s cold and mean >:(

**grumpy old man:** can’t help being a leo

**Risette:** syhdbhslajhfsgf ajsfa

**Risette:** okay now don’t get mad at me for saying this right  **@Kanji Port Island @Naotoh No**

**Risette:** but none of us have nice tits in our polycule,,, 

**Naotoh No:** I know I sure don’t.

**Kanji Port Island:** yeah i wasn’t thinkin of you or rise 

**Kanji Port Island:** or myself

**Risette:** is it senpai

**Risette:** because me too

**Kanji Port Island:** yeah it was

**Naotoh No:** I can’t say I disagree. 

**Risette:** he’s got nice tits AND a nice ass

**Risette:** i don’t know if i’m more jealous of him or yosuke

**Ren Mama Mia:** rise you have taste as always

**Ren Mama Mia:** i’m not attracted to narukami personally but he is an absolute dreamboat and i can appreciate that

**Minakoko:** good looking, kind, smart, a good sense of humor…

**Minakoko:** (not to mention his fat ass)

**Minakoko:** yosuke is one lucky guy lemme tell you

**Foxy Grandpa:** He has the physique of a statue. 

**Foxy Grandpa:** I’d be honored to paint him.

**Naotoh No:** Maybe he’d sit for a portrait if you asked.

**Foxy Grandpa:** That’s a brilliant idea!

_ - _ **_Foxy Grandpa_ ** _ to  _ **_Chad Dad_ ** _ - _

**Foxy Grandpa** : Let me paint you.

**Chad Dad:** Huh?

**Foxy Grandpa:** I would like to immortalize your body onto a canvas; it is art in its most purest form.

**Chad Dad:** I… Appreciate the sentiment, but I’m sorry to say that I’ll have to decline. Maybe Akira would be a better fit for that sort of thing?

**Foxy Grandpa:** I see… perhaps I will have to rethink my angle. Thank you for your insight.

**Chad Dad:** It’s no problem. Glad I could help.

_ ~ _ **_McDonald’s Polyamorus Playplace_ ** _ ~ _

**Foxy Grandpa:** My proposal was rejected, sadly.

**Risette:** aw, I’m sorry yusuke :(

**Foxy Grandpa:** It’s quite alright, Rise. An artist must learn to understand when to let a muse go.

**Foxy Grandpa:** I still must thank him for allowing me to rethink my approach to this piece, however.

**Minakoko:** wait wait narukami never misses a chance to show off even if he acts humble about it

**Minakoko:** what did you say to him?

**Foxy Grandpa:** I shall screenshot the conversation.

**Foxy Grandpa:** _ screenshot.jpg _

**Ren Mama Mia:** …

**Ren Mama Mia:** chorus, let us sing:

**Ren Mama Mia:** phrasing, yusuke

**Minakoko:** phrasing, yusuke

**Risette:** phrasing, yusuke

**Foxy Grandpa:** I’m not sure I understand?

**Risette:** iiii think he thought you were coming onto him,

**Naotoh No:** I can definitely see how it could be taken that way. 

**Foxy Grandpa:** But what I had said was entirely true… 

**Ren Mama Mia:** ngl you said something similar to me that made me fall in love with you

**Ren Mama Mia:** something about capturing my smile

**Ren Mama Mia:** so yeah i can deffo see how he thought that was romantically coded

**Ren Mama Mia:** narukami doesn’t know you that well so he’s not used to how you see beauty in everything

**Foxy Grandpa:** Eureka! I have found my direction!

**Foxy Grandpa:** As always, you inspire me, my muse.

**Ren Mama Mia:** ᵒʰ ʸᵉᵃʰ ⁿᵒ ᵖʳᵒᵇˡᵉᵐ ʸᵘʸᵘ

**Foxy Grandpa:** All of the wildcards have a certain… beauty, surrounding them.

**Foxy Grandpa:** Akira’s mysterious allure, Yu’s physique, Minato and Minako’s bond with Death himself… Even Aegis and her warmth that stems beyond her cold outer shell.

**Foxy Grandpa:** The key isn’t any one painting..

**Foxy Grandpa:** No, beauty this great requires an entire series. Nay, an investigation!

**Foxy Grandpa:** “A Wildcard’s Heart”... Yes, it is perfect. I must gather more references. Thank you all.

_ - _ **_Foxy Grandpa_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Minakoko:** damn yusuke really knows how to make a bitch feel beautiful TwT

**Ren Mama Mia:** i know it kills me every time because he isn’t like exaggerrationg

**Ren Mama Mia:** his declaratns oof love are always the ruth

**Risette:** dude are you okay??

**Ren Mama Mia:** im fine jsut cryyn g a little

**Ren Mama Mia:** i get this feeling every time he calls me muse and stuff. whew. 

**Corn Lad:** bro all this time i thought it was just me why didnt ya say somethin’

**Corn Lad:** m not used to people caring about me let alone the shit that yusuke says

**Corn Lad:** one of these days hes gonna kill us lol

**Ren Mama Mia:** oh yeah definitely

**Minakoko:** shinjiro why don’t you say nice things like that about me 😳👉👈

**grumpy old man:** youd think giving you all my coats was enough

**grumpy old man:** the sappy word shit is more akis thing not mine

**Risette:** shinjiro kanji

🤝 

love through gifts

**Minakoko:** oh don’t even get me started on love languages

**Minakoko:** which makes me wonder…

**Minakoko:** would twins be predisposed to having the same love language or opposite ones?

**Minakoko:** cuz mine is physical touch and i have yet to see minato even think about loving someone else lmao

**Minakoko:** it really makes you think, y’know?

_ ~ _ **_Ryoji Execution Squad (RES)_ ** _ ~ _

_ - _ **_moon moon_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Execution Squad (SEES)_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_moon moon_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Moonlight Mochi_ ** _ - _

**Moonlight Mochi:** Would you all like to hear something beautiful? (✧∇✧ )

**Risette:** for the last time Ryoji it takes more than a basic singing ability and a cute face to be an idol

**Moonlight Mochi:** Very funny, Rise. But no, this is even better!

**Moonlight Mochi:** _ pureart.mp4 _

**Takoyakamaki:** IS THAT,, FUCKUIINDH,,,

**Moonlight Mochi:** Yes, it is. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

**Naruto Roleplayer:** DDUDE HE SOUMNDS SO BABEY???????????

**Noir:** I never knew Mina had such a cute laugh!

**Chie Pet:** i feel blessed,

**Trash Man:** this is beautiful you were right-

**Moonlight Mochi:** Isn’t it?

**Moonlight Mochi:** Minato’s laugh isn’t something I get to hear often, so I treasure it as much as I can. （*´▽｀*）

**Fook:** i’ll never forget the [first time](https://youtu.be/ZD6nYmlu1dk?t=3282) I heard it! you’re sooo lucky, ryoji.

**PeiPei:** what’d you get him to laugh about anyway?

**Moonlight Mochi:** Well, he surprised me today with a very nice gift, and mentioned that he was glad he had some help, otherwise he would have gotten me another scarf.

**Moonlight Mochi:** And I joked with him about him taking my old one since he has trouble staying warm. Told him he could make it into a little cocoon. He found it very funny. (*´꒳`*)

**Aegis:** I Do Not Understand Why.

**Aegis:** Perhaps You Would Not Have To Savor His Laugh If You Weren’t Always Bothering Him.

**Risette:** aww, aegis, don’t be like that! it’s not often we see minato happy.

**Naruto Roleplayer:** do i detect a bit of jealousy, aegis 

**Aegis:** No! He Is Just No Good And Needs To Stay Away From Minato And Minako!

**Naruto Roleplayer:** oh you’re absolutely jealous,,,

**Aegis:** I AM NOT!

_ - _ **_Aegis_ ** _ has left  _ **_Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Execution Squad (SEES)._ ** _ - _

**Naruto Roleplayer:** oh, jeez… i didn’t mean to make her mad

**Naruto Roleplayer:** glad i didn’t call her a robo chastity belt like i was planning that would have been really bad

**Risette:** i shouldn’t be laughing because she’s super upset but robo chastity belt is really fucking funny

**Risette:** but, yeah… that sure was a thing. you okay, Ryoji?

**Moonlight Mochi:** I just don’t understand…

**Moonlight Mochi:** I’m trying to make peace with her, but it’s so hard when she looks at me like that. 

**Mitsuru:** Give her time, Mochizuki. Aegis is… still learning how to navigate her feelings. You’ll have to be patient with her. I know what that feels like, and it’s hard to manage. 

**Moonlight Mochi:** Understood. I’m gonna hop off for a while. Need some time to think.

_ - _ **_Moonlight Mochi_ ** _ has signed off.- _

_ ~ _ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _ ~ _

**Blueberry Bastard:** you guys i have a problem,,,,,,

**Minakoko:** what’s wrong????

**Blueberry Bastard:** So I gave Ryoji his present, and that all went well.

**Blueberry Bastard:** But he cracked this stupid joke, and I laughed, and the smile he gave me made me get this weird feeling in my chest.

**Blueberry Bastard:** I don’t want to fully say that you all were right, but… there is something there. It feels weird and scary and I don’t know how to deal with it.

**Blueberry Bastard:** And Aegis is really mad for some reason so there’s that too.

**Ren Mama Mia:** SOUND THE ALARM LADS THE BOY IS IN LOVE

**Minakoko:** WEEE WOOOOO WEEEEE WOOOOO

**Minakoko:** also i wouldn’t pay aegis any mind from what takeba is telling me she’s mad that ryoji is spending so much time with you

**Chad Dad:** Glad you’ve finally seen the light, Minato.

**Chad Dad:** So, what are you going to do?

**Blueberry Bastard:** I dunno. Right now I’d like to just melt into my carpet, but that helps no one.

**Minakoko:** need me to be your wingman? ;)

**Blueberry Bastard:** After how long it took for you and Akihiko to realize that Shinjiro was in love with you both? No thanks, I’ll pass.

**Minakoko:** you’re so mean to me :(

**Blueberry Bastard:** I’m just… scared to mess this up. I’ve never felt for anyone this way before. 

**Blueberry Bastard:** What did you all do when you… realized, I guess?

**Ren Mama Mia:** cried lmao

**Ren Mama Mia:** but i wasn’t the one who confessed actually

**Ren Mama Mia:** ryuji came to me first and beat around the bush so hard i thought he had figured out i liked him and was trying to let me down easy

**Ren Mama Mia:** and then eventually we both realized we had feelings for yusuke and let me tell you confessing to him was a nightmare

**Ren Mama Mia:** but it all worked out

**Chad Dad:** I didn’t realize until Yosuke confided in me that he liked someone. He called me late at night asking for advice on starting a relationship and something in me got jealous. Then I realized I liked him. And then the next day he confessed to me. It threw me for a loop because in the end I was jealous of myself.

**Minakoko:** i have a little more confidence than these clowns so i told aki straight away that i like-liked him and he died a little but we made it work

**Minakoko:** it wasn’t until shinji started pining for us and we started pining for him that things got complicated

**Minakoko:** me and aki felt so bad because we loved each other but then were also thirsting after shinji at the same time

**Minakoko:** (mind you we didn’t tell each other at the time)

**Minakoko:** if shinjiro hadn’t confessed to us both we probably would still be pining shblfjsgdfbvjsdfhs

**Blueberry Bastard:** … So, what I’m getting is that I should let him come to me first?

**Ren Mama Mia:** yes and no

**Ren Mama Mia:** if you know you’re not good with feelings let him come to you yes

**Ren Mama Mia:** but still give him some incentive to come to you

**Ren Mama Mia:** flirt a little, spend time with him

**Ren Mama Mia:** show him you’re interested

**Minakoko:** oh! perfect timing i have a question toto

**Blueberry Bastard:** Shoot. 

**Blueberry Bastard:** Haha, get it? 

**Minakoko:** eye-

**Minakoko:** i’m gonna ignore that and ask: what’s your love language?

**Blueberry Bastard:** My what??

**Minakoko:** love language chile

**Minakoko:** how do you show love/affection/care to others

**Minakoko:** mine is touch, aki’s is words of affirmation, and shinji’s is acts of service

**Ren Mama Mia:** oh yeah that is important

**Ren Mama Mia:** i don’t do too well with touch and stuff unless i know it’s coming but ryuji’s a very touchy feely guy so we learned to compromise

**Ren Mama Mia:** and then yusuke doesn’t receive gifts well (he gets embarrassed) but i express myself through giving so we talked about that too

**Chad Dad:** I mostly show Yosuke that I care for him by spending a lot of time with him and he shows me that he cares through pet names and the like. So, words of affirmation, I suppose. 

**Blueberry Bastard:** I never thought about that…

**Blueberry Bastard:** I guess… Acts of service, or whatever? I’m not good with words and I hate touching other people so I do things for people to show I care.

**Blueberry Bastard:** But I don’t mind when Ryoji hugs me and stuff. Makes me feel whole.

**Minakoko:** that’s called being touch starved toto

**Minakoko:** so you give love by doing stuff and receive it through touch! I’m the exact opposite. guess my hypothesis was right.

**Minakoko:** anyways this operation is officially a go now!!!! minato, we have your back

**Minakoko:** ya trust us? :)

**Blueberry Bastard:** …

**Blueberry Bastard:** Yes. I trust you all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not quite a song reference this time! fever the ghost is an artist. source is my favorite song by them :) also i linked minato's laugh from Falling Down because i love it and everyone should hear it


	5. shapeshifter

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ created a new chat:  _ **_Inababes_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ added  _ **_Chad Dad, Trash Man, Chie Pet, Amamamamagi, Kanji Port Island, Risette, Naotoh No, Corn Lad, Takoyakamaki, Foxy Grandpa, Queen, Naruto Roleplayer, Noir, Goro Akechi,_ ** _ and  _ **_Socket Gremlin_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** hello everyone

**Ren Mama Mia:** you’re probably wondering why I have gathered you all here today 

**Ren** **Mama Mia:** to put it simply, I’m having a crisis.

**Goro Akechi:** When are you  _ not _ having a crisis?

**Ren Mama Mia:** as always thank you goro for your love and support I appreciate you as a friend

**Ren Mama Mia:** a n y w a y

**Ren Mama Mia:** my parents (specifically my bitch ass mom) called last night

**Ren Mama Mia:** mind you she called s o j i r o, not me

**Ren Mama Mia:** asking how i was doing in probation and when am i coming back home uwu fakety fake fake fake

**Ren Mama Mia:** sojiro said he’d talk to me in the morning and call them back (padding for time ofc bless his heart)

**Ren Mama Mia:** it’s now 2 in the afternoon. he called them. they didn’t answer.

**Ren Mama Mia:** what if they come to drag me back to inaba,,,,,

**Takoyakamaki:** they’d do that? from what i can tell your folks shouldn’t care that much…

**Ren Mama Mia:** they have in the past that’s the thing

**Ren Mama Mia:** that’s why I’m staying with sojiro futaba and isshiki-san rn

**Ren Mama Mia:** they tried to claim i was living in an unsafe space but I knew that was bullshit

**Ren Mama Mia:** they wanted to bring me home so they could show me off as “their perfect reformed son”. that’s all they ever cared about. appearance.

**Ren Mama Mia:** maybe i should fake my death,

**Ren Mama Mia: @Naotoh No @Goro Akechi** what are the legal repercussions of me faking my death

**Naotoh No:** Do you want the long answer or the short answer?

**Goro Akechi:** Either way, there are many and you’d regret it.

**Naotoh No:** Especially since Sojiro-san is your caretaker. He’d probably get in a lot of trouble.

**Ren Mama Mia:** dammit I’ve already given the man enough grief

**Risette:** if you do have to come back to inaba, we’ll take care of you, ren.

**Trash Man:** yeah! just like the old days.

**Chie Pet:** your mom won’t stand a chance against my galactic punt!!!!!!!!

**Chad Dad:** We’ll look out for you. And we’ll make sure that you aren’t here for long. Tokyo is your home. It suits you better.

**Amamamamagi:** Your room at the inn is still here~ I make sure not to let anyone book it.

**Naotoh No:** And who knows; maybe if I pull some strings you’ll be able to stay where you are.

**Kanji Port Island:** n ive still got yr cat plush you gave to me b4 ya left

**Ren Mama Mia:** stop you guys are gonna make me cry fuck

**Ren Mama Mia:** wait I’m being summoned downstairs for my sentencing 

**Ren Mama Mia:** I’ll be back

**Ren Mama Mia:** hopefully

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Naruto Roleplayer:** we gotta do something akira walked past my room looking sad as fuck i don’t like it

**Queen:** I don’t think there’s much we can do, Futaba…

**Foxy Grandpa:** If that is the case, I should bide my time well and see him as much as possible.

**Corn Lad:** it sucks to think about tho ngl

**Takoyakamaki:** yeah…

**Noir:** Hopefully he’ll come visit a lot if he does go home.

**Chad Dad:** Yeah. Ren’s a good kid. He doesn’t deserve this shit.

**Chie Pet:** that’s how you know things are bad. you never swear, yu!

**Chad Dad:** It just makes me mad.

**Chad Dad:** Ren is a good guy. He was polite as ever and just doing what he thought was right and got dumped into a bunch of stupid ass mess and controversy.

**Amamamamagi:** And he was a big help around here… Sigh..~

**Socket Gremlin:** :( we should throw him a party.

**Socket Gremlin:** even if he does have to leave, we should compile a bunch of his good memories to take with him. like a b-roll montage!

**Ren Mama Mia:** no need, hikari

**Ren Mama Mia:** there’s no point in celebrating a clown

**Ren Mama Mia:** i regret to inform you that ren isshiki has lost his way and is giving up

**Takoyakamaki:** oh, akira, i’m so sorry :((

**Foxy Grandpa:** Is there anything we can do to make the last bit of your stay memorable?

**Naruto Roleplayer:** wait a damn minute

**Naruto Roleplayer:** ‘ren isshiki’? your last name is ‘amamiya’ dude

**Naruto Roleplayer:** WAIT YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT DHE DIDNT

**Ren Mama Mia:** that she did, nee-chan :)

**Naruto Roleplayer:** EW YOURE MY BROTHER NOW IM SO HAPPY

**Takoyakamaki:** WAIT YOU GET TO STAY?????

**Ren Mama Mia:** ye

**Takoyakamaki:** OH F UC K EYAH GET IN HERE NERDS  **@Goro Akechi @Noir @Queen @Corn Lad @Foxy Grandpa**

**Noir:** You’re staying!!!

**Queen:** We worried for nothing, haha.

**Foxy Grandpa:** Just like our leader, to pull the rug from under the situation in the final hour.

**Goro Akechi:** It’s quite odd, his luck.

**Corn Lad:** how the hell did you manage to do it???

**Ren Mama Mia:** apparently the phone call from my mom was sojiro fucking with me

**Ren Mama Mia:** well they did talk but it was ages ago to swap custody

**Ren Mama Mia:** somehow isshiki-san convinced my parents to give them full legal guardianship of me

**Ren Mama Mia:** so while it isn’t quite an actual adoption it may as well be heheheh

**Ren Mama Mia:** what matters is that i get to stay!!!

**Socket Gremlin:** can we still throw a party :0

**Socket Gremlin:** instead of it being a farewell it can be an actual celebration!!!!

**Chie Pet:** only if we can come too!!!!!!

**Chie Pet:** we haven’t seen ren since we left the movies!!!!

**Chad Dad:** It is just a train ride out… I’d enjoy that a lot, I think. 

**Amamamamagi:** i’m down if everyone else is~

**Ren Mama Mia:** if you guys are coming then we may as well invite the twins and their crew too

**Naruto Roleplayer:** it would be the perfect opportunity to get minmin and ryoji together lol

**Naruto Roleplayer:** wait i’ve said too much oops,

**Ren Mama Mia:** YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO GET THEM TOGETHER TOO?!

**Takoyakamaki:** maaaybe…………..

**Takoyakamaki:** it also miiiiight have been my idea………….

**Takoyakamaki:** wait too??

**Chad Dad:** Yeah, we’ve been pushing them together slowly.

**Chad Dad:** Mostly with Minako’s help.

**Ren Mama Mia:** it’s like herding cats with these two they just REFUSE to get together

**Takoyakamaki:** god tell me a fucking bout it

**Takoyakamaki:** ryoji’s literally got the damn boy in his lap and just refuses to acknowledge that he loves him its so painful

**Ren Mama Mia:** is that a literal literally or

**Naruto Roleplayer:** _ sleepy.jpg _ it’s a literal literally this was two days ago or so

**Ren Mama Mia:** BITCH?!?!?!?!

**Takoyakamaki:** THATS WHAT I SAID

**Ren Mama Mia:** okay not only do we need to get them together but we needed to get them together YESTERDAY

**Ren Mama Mia:** we managed to get minato to at least admit he had feelings for him

**Ren Mama Mia:** but that’s all we got at the moment

**Takoyakamaki:** you got him to admit he had f e e l i n g s?! ryoji is still trying to be his f r i e n d,

_ - _ **_Naruto Roleplayer_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Victorian Courtship Party_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Naruto Roleplayer_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ - _

**Mother Dearest:** if this is a party to get these two fuckos together then im subscribing to my role completely 

**Takoyakamaki:** wait since this was my idea shouldn’t I be mother dearest???

**Mother Dearest:** fuck you’re right 

_ - _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Gremlin Sister_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Gremlin Sister_ ** _ changed  _ **_Takoyakamaki_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ - _

**Mother Dearest:** so lovelies how are we going about doing this

**Ren Mama Mia:** depends on the type of party we’re gonna have

**Socket Gremlin:** i was thinking just a little shindig but since everybody’s coming we gotta go grander! \o/

**Queen:** The question is… how?

**Noir:** This may be a little out of our league, but…

**Noir:** How about a masquerade party? We all get dressed up super fancy and wear masks and the like.

**Noir:** It would give the others a taste at Phantom Thief life, too!

**Ren Mama Mia:** haru you are a genius madwoman that’s perfect

**Goro Akechi:** But where would we hold such a thing? And what about those with no formal wear?

**Noir:** We can have it here! There’s a ballroom with wonderful acoustics.

**Kanji Port Island:** n my mom n me can make some clothes for people who don’t have em

**Foxy Grandpa:** I am willing to be in charge of the creation of masks.

**Ren Mama Mia:** i love to see it. single braincelled organisms working together.

**Ren Mama Mia:** three weeks from now will be the anniversary of my probation starting. is that enough time to prepare?

**Foxy Grandpa:** I will have to work quickly, but it should be alright.

**Kanji Port Island:** i can make it work yeah

**Ren Mama Mia:** perfect. in the meantime everyone draw together an outfit concept and send it to those two if you don’t have something in mind already

**Ren Mama Mia:** what are we doing in the realm of food?

**Chie Pet:** steak!!!

**Chad Dad:** I think we’ll need a little more than that, Chie.

**Noir:** Simple finger foods would be best. I can handle those.

**Risette:** if we’re doing a masquerade then we have to have aliases!!!!!!!!!

**Gremlin Sister:** and they can’t just be anything they have to be sexy

**Risette:** help us, phantom thieves-

**Ren Mama Mia:** lets start with your leader since that’s usually where good names stem from

**Trash Man:** manwhore

**Chie Pet:** sister complex kingpin of steel

**Gremlin Sister:** father

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ changed  _ **_Chad Dad_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Kingpin_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** I’m scared to know what you guys think of narukami 

**Ren Mama Mia:** who’s next

**Trash Man:** me?

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ changed  _ **_Trash Man_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Prince_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** i was gonna say ‘junes prince’ but codenames are usually one word so

**Chie Pet:** I wanna be next!!!

_ - _ **_Prince_ ** _ changed  _ **_Chie Pet_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Dragon_ ** _ - _

**Prince:** we had a name for you in the theater but that was stupid so dragon it is

**Dragon:** aww HELL yeah this is epic yosuke!!!

**Prince:** always happy to please-

**Prince:** yukiko, you’re up next

_ - _ **_Amamamamagi_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Scarlet_ ** _ - _

**Scarlet:** I’ve been thinking since we first got out of the theater~

**Kingpin:** It suits you. Kanji?

**Kanji Port Island:** still thinkin come back to me

**Risette:** ive got an idea for mine!

_ - _ **_Risette_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Idol_ ** _ - _

**Idol:** if it ain’t broke don’t fix it!

**Naotoh No:** I think I have an idea as well.

_ - _ **_Naotoh No_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Sherlock_ ** _ - _

**Sherlock:** Since I am a detective. 

**Sherlock:** Oh, shouldn’t we add S.E.E.S? They need names too.

**Ren Mama Mia:** add everyone but Ryoji and Minato bc this is kinda for them— we’ll come up with code names ourselves

**Kanji Port Island:** got mine btw

_ - _ **_Kanji Port Island_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Zeus_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Sherlock_ ** _ added  _ **_Minakoko, Yukarin, PeiPei, Dadkihiko, grumpy old man, Mitsuru, Aegis,_ ** _ and  _ **_Fook_ ** _ - _

**Minakoko:** a masquerade?? hell yeah i’m in

**Kingpin:** Right now we’re working out codenames, and leaders come first. Minato should be ‘messiah’, but what about you, Minako?

_ - _ **_Minakoko_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Nexus_ ** _ - _

**Nexus:** big nose is always telling me I’m full of potential or whatever so

**Fook:** i’ve got mine too!

_ - _ **_Fook_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Lucia_ ** _ - _

**Lucia:** I was already using this in other places, so-!

_ - _ **_Lucia_ ** _ changed  _ **_grumpy old man_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Brood_ ** _ - _

**Lucia:** since i know stinky shinji won’t respond to the chat >:P

**Dragon:** wait ive got a good one for junpei!

_ - _ **_Dragon_ ** _ changed  _ **_PeiPei_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Slugger_ ** _ - _

**Slugger:** i was expecting something bad but i’m okay with this actually

**Mitsuru:** Before anyone else gets the chance, I’ll change my own name.

_ - _ **_Mitsuru_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Minerva_ ** _ - _

**Minerva:** Might I ask, why are we changing our chatroom names for this?

**Ren Mama Mia:** just to get a general count

**Ren Mama Mia:** once i get everyone’s name down you can change them to whatever

**Ren Mama Mia:** since a masquerade is supposed to be exclusive we gotta do personalized invitations

**Ren Mama Mia:** so this is helping my one brain cell

**Minerva:** Understood. I’m quite excited, actually. This is looking to be fun.

**Minerva:** But there is an ulterior motive, is there not?

**Ren Mama Mia:** well duh a good thief never attends a masquerade without some sort of plan for mischief

**Ren Mama Mia:** nothing too crazy, of course, but we’ll need you all’s help

**Aegis:** I Do Not Wish To Be Associated With This Plot.

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ changed  _ **_Aegis_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ribbon_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** but the best thieves have unwilling accomplices! how do you think i made all my friends lmao

**Ribbon:** This ‘Masquerade’ Does Not Appeal To Me, Especially With The Ulterior Motive Behind It.

**Lucia:** c’mon aegis, it’ll be fun! you can dance and stuff!! 

**Nexus:** tell you what ai

**Nexus:** if you let ryoji and minato have this one night together and cooperate i’ll do anything you want

**Nexus:** even if it means letting you sleep in my dorm room for a week

**Ribbon:** …

**Ribbon:** Fine. But I Refuse To Have Fun At This Gathering.

**Nexus:** whatever floats your boat, ai

**Nexus:** anyway 

_ - _ **_Nexus_ ** _ changed  _ **_Yukarin_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ranger_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Nexus_ ** _ changed  _ **_Dadkihiko_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Boxer_ ** _ - _

**Nexus:** to speed things up a lil

**Nexus:** ryoji can be pharos since that was his alias anyway

**Ren Mama Mia:** messiah and pharos go so well together it’s weird

**Gremlin Daughter** it fits their dramatic ass aesthetics

**Gremlin Daughter:** also while im at it

_ - _ **_Gremlin Daughter_ ** _ changed  _ **_Socket Gremlin_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Director_ ** _ - _

**Gremlin Daughter:** so akira when are you gonna send out these invitations

**Gremlin Daughter:** and are they gonna be like calling cards cuz that would be hella cool

**Ren Mama Mia:** you’re such a genius its scary

**Ren Mama Mia:** you all will get your invitations pretty soon (in a few days or so)

**Ren Mama Mia:** but ‘pharos’ and ‘messiah’ will receive theirs a week before the event, to add to the mystique

**Ren Mama Mia:** there will be an option to RSVP with a plus one (or plus two in our polycules’ cases)

**Ren Mama Mia:** it’s imperative that you all register with one so that they’ll be forced to choose each other

**Ren Mama Mia:** i’d recommend you work that out now

**Goro Akechi:** I do have a question.

**Goro Akechi:** I’m assuming that you all already have plus ones and twos, but…

**Goro Akechi:** I have neither. 

**Lucia:** you can be one of mine! i was going to RSVP with aegis, but you’re welcome to come with us!

**Goro Akechi:** Ah, thank you. That’s very kind of you.

**Ren Mama Mia:** well, if that squares everything away, i’ll leave you all to your jobs and such

**Ren Mama Mia:** until then, tricksters :)

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Idol:** ominous.

**Idol:** anyway, what’s everyone thinking in the vein of outfits!!!!!! Bc some of yall have no fashion sense and i am here to help!!!

**Gremlin Daughter:** wellllll

**Gremlin Daughter:** ann got us to do a [masquerade photoshoot](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/7/7b/P5A_Masquerade_Party_Event.png/revision/latest?cb=20190919083847) with her at her modeling job and we got to keep the outfits so i’m wearing mine lol

**Foxy Grandpa:** As was I.

**Noir:** Me too!

**Queen:** I think we all were, haha.

**Idol:** lemme see em

**Gremlin Daughter:** _ masque.png _

**Idol:** that is so sexy wtf i love these

**Idol:** i was gonna do one of my old idol outfits but that’s not fit for a masquerade…

**Zeus:** not anythin some tailorin cant fix

**Zeus:** bring it by the shop l8r 

**Idol:** okay!!

**Nexus:** i’m good with sewing sometimes so i was gonna do like, a mermaid-style dress?

**Nexus:** sequins out the wazoo

**Nexus:** idk for sure tho

**Idol:** a woman of culture either way.

**Idol:** WAIAT I JUST REALIZED

**Idol:** what are minato and ryoji going to wear!!

**Idol:** kanji lets surprise them

**Zeus:** ok

**Idol:** heheheheheheheheheh

_ - _ **_Idol_ ** _ has signed off.- _

_ - _ **_Zeus_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Mother Dearest:** this is either going to be the best party i’ve ever been to or the craziest night of my life 

**Mother Dearest:** either way i can’t put into words how fucking excited i am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little on the boring side- I promise the next few will be a little more interesting (given the party and all that~) i left everyone's outfit designs kinda ambiguous partially b/c designing/describing clothes is hard and partially because I wanted to give you guys an opportunity to dream up your own ideas :> and if you do, please do share them with me! i'd love to see/read what you come up with, hehe~ and ofc, the title ref is beneath the mask.


	6. no more what ifs

_ ~ _ **_Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Execution Squad (SEES)_ ** _ ~ _

_ - _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ added  _ **_Shiho Suzui_ ** _ and  _ **_Yuuki Mishima_ ** _ to  _ **_Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Execution Squad (SEES)_ ** _ - _

**Mother Dearest:** this is my girlfriend and one of our good friends

**Mother Dearest:** be nice to them or I’ll kill you :)

_ - _ **_Shiho Suzui_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ - _

**Shihoe:** truly, a pleasure

**Shihoe:** Idk if I’ve met any of you actually 

**Shihoe:** besides the PTs but ofc I know them vdhfjfjcb

**Shihoe:** I know /of y’all/

**Shihoe:** and although he isn’t here Narukami is my cousin so I’m semi familiar with his group of friends

**Dragon:** yu has another cousin?????

**Dragon:** I didn’t know nanako-chan had a sister!!!!!!!

**Shihoe:** Nah I’m his cousin on his dad’s side lol

**Shihoe:** I’ve met nanako tho she’s an angel

**Shihoe:** but yeah who all are the rest of you

**Mother Dearest:** theyre the gekkoukan kids I was telling you about

**Ranger:** aren’t we all older than you, technically?

**Mother Dearest:** shhhhhhhhh

**Shihoe:** ohhhhh them!!!

**Shihoe:** is that guy in here?? the little baby gay???

**Mother Dearest:** ye  **@Moonlight Mochi**

**Moonlight Mochi:** Baby gay? (๑•̆૩•̆)

**Shihoe:** kaomoji checks out

**Shihoe:** Ann was telling me about how you like a guy but you’re too scared to tell him bc you don’t want to ruin the friendship 

**Shihoe:** first of all that’s a hugeass mood bc that’s how I was with ann

**Shihoe:** secondly  **@Yuuki Mishima** you better be taking notes because god dammit this applies to you too

**Yuuki Mishima:** I told you not to tell them—!! Shiho you’re the woooorst

**Shihoe:** I’m trying to help you score yuuki be grateful

_ - _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ changed  _ **_Moonlight Mochi_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Baby Gay_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ changed  _ **_Yuuki Mishima_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ungrateful Child_ ** _ - _

**Shihoe:** so mr baby gay tell me about your crush that totally isn’t a crush

**Baby Gay:** I feel like I’m being interrogated… (눈_눈)

**Shihoe:** well you are so :) go on, tell me

**Baby Gay:** Well… I wouldn’t really call the way I feel about Minato a crush…? I just…

**Baby Gay:** I admire his strength, and who he is, and how thoughtful and caring he can be, and his determination through hardship.

**Baby Gay:** And then, the fact that he continued to be my friend and care about me despite all the things that I had to do to him, and my role in the universe…

**Baby Gay:** I value his company and want to remain by his side.

**Baby Gay:** I suppose the problem comes in the form of /how/ I do so.

**Baby Gay:** I’m perfectly fine with remaining his friend, but…. Some part of me does wish to be a little more than that. 

**Ungrateful Child:** that’s so touching,,,

**Shihoe:** okay lil baby gay (what’s your name btw I should have asked that first)

**Shihoe:** you seem very sweet and verbose n shit but uh

**Shihoe:** that is like super gay I’m sorry there’s no way you can just stay friends with him after that poem you just gave to us dude

**Baby Gay:** It’s Ryoji. And… thank you, I suppose? ( ’v`*)ゞ that’s just… the truth of how I feel .

**Baby Gay:** I’m just concerned about

**Gremlin Sister:** calm down there bucko you sent your message a lil too early

**Baby Gay:** what if I 😳😳😳was the avatar of death 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 and you😳😳😳😳 were the savior of humanity 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 and we were both boys 😳😳😳😳😳😳

**Minerva:** ?

**Minerva:** Mochizuki, what happened?

**Dragon:** duuude ryoji got possessed!!!!!!!!

**Prince:** are you good dude?

**Baby Gay:** ofc I’m good bitches I’m Nyx’s avatar n shit!

**Ranger:** That’s not me. Minako has my phone!!!! (＃`Д´) -Ryoji

**Ranger:** She took it from my hand! -Ryoji

**Shihoe:** LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO  _ craughing.gif _

**Baby Gay:** wym this is Very Obviously Ryoji Mochizuki who has a Very Secret Crush on minako’s twin brother (which is kinda a shame cuz minako’s the hotter twin but hey you like who you like)

**Ranger:** Minako please ryojis gonna cry give him back his phone

**Baby Gay:** no 

**Baby Gay:** dude this is so cute his whole shit is space themed

**Ranger:** Minako, I’ll… I’ll snitch!!! I’ll tell Minato!!! -Ryoji

**Baby Gay:** and that my friends is where I’ll have to take my leave~!!

_ - _ **_Baby Gay_ ** _ has signed off.- _

_ - _ **_Ranger_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Shihoe:** minako’s afraid of her brother? lmao

**Shihoe:** whats he gonna do fight her

**Minerva:** I wouldn’t put it past him. The Arisato twins are… very headstrong. They butt heads a lot.

**Minerva:** Usually Minato is the more mature and calculating of the two, but when it comes to Ryoji, he has a tendency to throw logic out of the window.

_ ~ _ **_Wildcard Jamboree_ ** _ ~ _

_ - _ **_Blueberry Bastard_ ** _ changed  _ **_Nexus’_ ** _ s name to  _ **_Bitch_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Bitch_ ** _ changed  _ **_Blueberry Bastard_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ryoji’s Bootlicker_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** woah woah where’s all this hostility coming from 

**Bitch:** this bastard put me in a headlock.

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** My bratty sister tried to take my phone. And text Ryoji a confession. 

**Bitch:** look it’s not my fault he all but confessed his undying love for you!!!!!

**Kingpin:** He did?

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** No. Minako sent a stupid message to the others’ group chat and tried to pass it off as Ryoji confessing his love for me.

**Bitch:** it would have worked too if you weren’t such a bitch baby >:(

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** I’m not /stupid/, Minako.

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Ryoji wouldn’t send this:  _ thatoneemoji.jpg _

**Bitch:** okay but you can’t prove that was me!!!

**Kingpin:** I hate to take sides here, but your name is right in the screencap…

**Bitch:** thanks dad you’re a lifesaver 

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** I’m already reluctant to accept your help because of things like this. Please just take this one thing seriously, Minako. I’m begging you.

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** I’m sorry for putting you in a headlock, but… I just. I need this to go well.

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Even if it means… if it means…

**Ren Mama Mia:** nope I’m gonna stop you right there

**Ren Mama Mia:** this is gonna go well whether you like it or not, bucko

**Ren Mama Mia:** no more what ifs. we’re gonna man up and do this, like us wildcards always do.

**Kingpin:** Spoken like a true Nose. Very inspiring, Ren.

**Bitch:** hey, I…

_ - _ **_Bitch_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Ah, shit… was I too hard on her?

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Jeez… I hope she’s not mad at me.

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** wait hold on I hear footrdeps 

**Kingpin:** ??

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Minako came and hugged me suddenly. Sorry.

**Bitch:** I love you, m’kay Toto?

**Bitch:** I wanna see my baby bro happy 

**Bitch:** I’m sorry for trying to rush things

**Bitch:** since the fall I’ve been worried about you making connections with people n shit

**Bitch:** since I know how you get after things get rough

**Bitch:** but I’ll trust you just like you’re trusting me

**Bitch:** spare your poor big sis’ feelings though she’s gonna have a heart attack at 20 because of you

**Ryoji’s Bootlicker:** Minako…

_ - _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_The Nose Club_ ** _ - _

**Ren Mama Mia:** i’m sorry shit was getting too heavy i couldn’t help it

**Ren Mama Mia:** i just did my eyeliner and ill be damned if that shit runs because you two wanna be reconciling and shit

**Bitch:** invest in waterproof liner you broke bitch

**Ren Mama Mia:** BUT THE DRAMA OF HAVING RUNNING EYELINER WHEN APPROPRIATE, MINAKO

_ - _ **_Bitch_ ** _ changed  _ **_Ren Mama Mia_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Dramatic Bitch_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Bitch_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ - _

**Dramatic Bitch:** i’m a sensible bitch!

**Sensible Bitch:** no <3

**Sensible Bitch:** your whole thing is drama akira don’t even act like it isn’t

**Dramatic Bitch:** okay chill on me

_ - _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ changed  _ **_Kingpin_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Reserved Bitch_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ changed  _ **_Ryoji’s Bootlicker_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ryoji’s Bitch_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Yarinose Bitch Club☆_ ** _ - _

**Sensible Bitch:** We Are All [Bitch].

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Why am I Ryoji’s bitch???

**Dramatic Bitch:** you know why

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** … Oh, hush.

**Reserved Bitch:** I know it’s embarrassing to admit, but you do spend a lot of time with him.

**Reserved Bitch:** I’ve seen it come about both times we met. You think about him a lot.

**Reserved Bitch:** I say that because that’s how I was around Yosuke.

**Sensible Bitch:** ohhhh everyone hush we’re getting hot juicy dad gossip

**Reserved Bitch:** There isn’t really much to tell.

**Reserved Bitch:** It’s just… Yosuke made me… no, makes me feel like I’m the only guy in the world that matters. And from what I can tell, Ryoji does that for you too, right?

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Yeah, he does.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** I’ve… I’ve always struggled with caring about… anything, really. 

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** But Ryoji’s shown me that… life is worth living. That there are things that I can and should care about.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** He makes me feel warm and cared for. I want to make him feel the same way.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** No matter what happens or how he feels about me, I want Ryoji to stay by my side and continue to make me feel like this.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** I'll be honest… it’s become rather addicting, feeling valued.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** And I don’t want to give it up. In fact… I want more. If that makes sense?

**Reserved Bitch:** You crave his attention. That’s understandable.

_ - _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ to  _ **_Dramatic Bitch_ ** _ - _

**Sensible Bitch:** I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE A K IR A

**Dramatic Bitch:** I KNOW I KNOW BABES BUT YOUVE GOTTA STAY PUT

**Sensible Bitch:** NO BUT YOU DIDNT SEE T H I S

**Sensible Bitch:** _ poetry.jpg _

**Dramatic Bitch:** OMFGGGGGGG

**Dramatic Bitch:** hold on shiho’s out and about??? lemme just

_ - _ **_Dramatic Bitch_ ** _ to  _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ - _

**Dramatic Bitch:** shiho I need a favor

**Shihoe:** it comes at a price you know.

**Dramatic Bitch:** uh huh uh huh whatever

**Dramatic Bitch:** how much did ann tell you about Ryoji and Minato

**Shihoe:** p much everything but I’m still working out some stuff

**Shihoe:** why?

**Dramatic Bitch:** did she tell you about the party? 

**Shihoe:** ye

**Dramatic Bitch:** BET

**Dramatic Bitch:** you’re good with words and poetry help me make those two idiots’ invitations

**Shihoe:** BE. T T T T TT. T T

**Shihoe:** only if we incorporate baby gay’s long ass paragraphs somehow

**Dramatic Bitch:** just your luck. his future boyfriend sent some too so we got plenty of material to work with

**Shihoe:** god this is gonna be so much fun I’m on my way to the cafe RIGHT NOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know~ jazz club theme from royal. This chapter’s on the shorter side cuz I’m just trying to push it out of my drafts ngl


	7. flyday chinatown

**_~Hackers Anonymous (and rise i guess)~_ **

**Gremlin Sister:** uh oh sisters! i’m having a dillema

 **Gremlin Sister:** dilema?

 **Gremlin Sister:** dilemma???????

 **Gremlin Sister:** whatever the fuck it is i’m currently having one

 **Lucia:** what’s the matter, futaba-chan?

 **Gremlin Sister:** so me and hikarin’s half a year anni is on the horizon

 **Gremlin Sister:** and i still have yet to kiss her

 **Gremlin Sister:** we’ve held hands we’ve cuddled she’s been to my house

 **Gremlin Sister:** but every time i go to kiss her i clam up and say something stupid,

 **Gremlin Sister:** how to??? kiss gi rl,,,,, how do,,,

 **Gremlin Sister:** she’s coming over today and i want to do it But!!!!! I Am Scared!!!!!!!!!! Pls Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Idol:** im smiling so hard that is so cute,

 **Gremlin Sister:** my crisis is not c u t e, r i s e

**_-Lucia_ ** _changed_ **_Gremlin Sister’s_ ** _name to_ **_Useless Lesbian_ ** _-_

**Useless Lesbian:** THIS ISN’T FUNNY

 **Idol:** shh we’re hazing you

 **Idol:** now here’s what you gotta do:

 **Idol:** give her the ol one two three

 **Idol:** one: hold her close

 **Idol:** two: look her in the eyes

 **Idol:** three: smooch.

 **Useless Lesbian:** that’s not helpful you nonce

 **Useless Lesbian:** the smooch is the hard part 

**Lucia:** you can’t be shy!! Close your eyes if you need to!!!! Just do it, coward!

 **Useless Lesbian:** f i n e

 **Useless Lesbian:** o shit she’s here she’s here she’s here

**_-Useless Lesbian_ ** _has signed off.-_

**Idol:** you think she’s gonna be ok

 **Lucia:** nope, not at all! :)

 **Idol:** yeah me neither

 **Lucia:** reminds me of when natsuki and i first got together.

 **Lucia:** we were just as nervous!

 **Lucia:** although futaba-chan is a lot more… chaotic than i was. 

**Idol:** how is she, anyway? 

**Lucia:** she’s good! She comes to see me sometimes.

 **Idol:** is she still rowdy as all hell?

 **Lucia:** yes, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s cute how riled up she gets about me.

 **Idol:** ajksbdasghdjbd we sound like two old women reminiscing about the Good Old Days while our daughter goes out and does great things

 **Lucia:** i can definitely see how you feel lol

 **Useless Lesbian:** I FUCJSDKDFNING

 **Useless Lesbian:** I DID IT

 **Useless Lesbian:** FUTABA SAKURA HAS HAD HER FIRST KISS BITCHES

 **Lucia:** congrats, futaba-chan!!!!

 **Idol:** so, how do you feel?

 **Useless Lesbian:** like i could die ngl

 **Useless Lesbian:** hikari was all uwu and i was like owo;;;; and she made the first move and i fucking,,,,,,,

 **Useless Lesbian:** e.

 **Useless Lesbian:** girls………… sofrt……… warm………… 

**Useless Lesbian:** rn we’re cuddling and she’s laying on my chest and i think,,,, she’s asleep,,,,,,,

 **Useless Lesbian:** i do be loving her doe

 **Useless Lesbian:** like not to be gay on main but hikari is like really nice to me and although we’ve both got shit we need to work through she never leaves me behind and,,,,,

 **Useless Lesbian:** i know akira and the others care but the way she cares is /different/ and /sweet/ and just,,,

 **Useless Lesbian:** no thoughts, am gay

 **Useless Lesbian:** ALSO DONT TELL ANYONE OR I WILL,,, I’LL PLANT SOMETHING NEFARIOUS ON YOUR PHONES,,,,,

 **Lucia:** your secret is safe with us!

 **Idol:** yeah we’re no snitches that’s a part of Navi Code

 **Useless Lesbian:** thanks guys

 **Useless Lesbian:** like, genuinely 

**Useless Lesbian:** i’d say something more heartwarming but my social battery is… no lol

 **Useless Lesbian:** gonna go take a nap

 **Useless Lesbian:** if i’m up at 3am, no im not <3

_-_ ** _Useless Lesbian_ ** _has signed off.-_

**_~Yarinose Bitch Club☆~_ **

**Dramatic Bitch:** I AM HAVINFG A CR SI S,,,,,,,

 **Reserved Bitch:** What’s the matter, Ren?!

 **Dramatic Bitch:** MY EYELINER?????? IS MISSING???????????

 **Reserved Bitch:** Oh.

_-_ **_Reserved Bitch_ ** _has signed off.-_

**Sensible Bitch:** LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** Holy shit. He fucking killed you, Akira.

 **Dramatic Bitch:** no one in this group chat cares about me im telling igor

 **Sensible Bitch:** jokes on you me and toto are his fav guests he’s not gonna do shit

 **Sensible Bitch:** and i can blackmail lizzy and theo so

 **Dramatic Bitch:** do i want to know

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** About how my sister banged not one but two Velvet Room attendants?

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** No. You don’t.

 **Dramatic Bitch:** damn minako has bitches bitches huh

 **Sensible Bitch:** hell yeah i do

 **Dramatic Bitch:** WAIT NO

 **Dramatic Bitch:** back to the topic AT HAND!!!

 **Dramatic Bitch:** my favorite eyeliner has gone missing and it was my good expensive shit!!!!

 **Dramatic Bitch:** i got it in america and they don’t sell it here and i’m going to D I E!

 **Reserved Bitch:** I could ask my parents to ship me some, but I feel like they’d take it the wrong way.

 **Reserved Bitch:** They can be a little… iffy, at times.

 **Reserved Bitch:** And I rely on the pity money they send me from overseas, haha.

 **Reserved Bitch:** Hence why I haven’t told them about Yosuke.

 **Reserved Bitch:** Or you all, honestly.

 **Sensible Bitch:** me and toto are pretty straight laced!!!

 **Reserved Bitch:** I’d argue that a thot and an emo aren’t the most… straight laced individuals.

 **Reserved Bitch:** No offense to you two, of course. That’d be their words, not mine.

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** I’m fucking CRYING.

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** You’re not even wrong, Narukami. Fuck.

 **Sensible Bitch:** sbhdasjkdhbakdhjfvasudbhjasdjasdhvgadghv

 **Sensible Bitch:** i can’t even be mad bc they’re not wrong at all

 **Sensible Bitch:** also you’re a trust fund kid narukami????

 **Reserved Bitch:** Not quite. My parents just send me money sometimes because they can’t be assed to come spend time with their son. Too busy working or whatever.

 **Reserved Bitch:** Usually they send me stuff around holidays. 

**Sensible Bitch:** damn bro that sucks im sorry

 **Reserved Bitch:** I’m used to it. Honestly, I could have gone back to Tokyo by now since I’m older and they trust me to live by myself, but…

 **Reserved Bitch:** I hate being in our house alone. And I love all the friends I’ve made out here, even if there isn’t really much to do.

 **Dramatic Bitch:** god yu i kin you 

**Reserved Bitch:** I kin you too, Akira.

 **Sensible Bitch:** SHKDBHJLASDVSDJVSJGHDVSJSIKBD

**_-Sensible Bitch_ ** _changed_ **_Reserved Bitch_ ** _’s name to_ **_Kurusu Kinnie_ ** _-_

**Kurusu Kinnie:** I suppose I’ve earned this title, huh?

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** That you have, Narukami. That you have.

 **Dramatic Bitch:** wait almost forgot

 **Dramatic Bitch:** narukami if you get me that eyeliner i will literally do anything you want it doesn’t matter what it is

 **Kurusu Kinnie:**...Let me have Morgana for a weekend and you’ve got yourself a deal, Ren.

 **Dramatic Bitch:** packing his bags right now lol

 **Dramatic Bitch:** do you want me to send him by air, by sea, or by train

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** By train, although I’d rather not have him travel alone. 

**Dramatic Bitch:** tell you what 

**Dramatic Bitch:** when you come into town for the party i’ll part with my darling cat that calls me a bitch

 **Dramatic Bitch:** and then i’ll come back to inaba for a while to come get my shit from my house and my cat

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** Sounds like a plan to me.

**_-Dramatic Bitch_ ** _to_ **_Useless Lesbian_ ** _-_

**Dramatic Bitch:** hey i’m gonna need to borrow morgana for a weekend

 **Dramatic Bitch:** may or may not be using him as a bargaining chip

 **Useless Lesbian:** what??

 **Useless Lesbian:** depends on what you’re selling our damn cat for

 **Dramatic Bitch:** american eyeliner that’s expensive as fuck

 **Useless Lesbian:** bet say less you can have him jlmk

 **Dramatic Bitch:** wait you’re not gonna ask any questions??  
**Useless Lesbian:** nah

 **Useless Lesbian:** i’m in a generous mood rn and morgana is being a poopoo stinkie

 **Dramatic Bitch:** sdfhjvasghjmvashjdaghsdghasvdaghsdhavsdlashjkvd

 **Dramatic Bitch:** not a poopoo stinkie

 **Useless Lesbian:** yes a poopoo stinkie

 **Useless Lesbian:** jail the cat man for his cat crimes

 **Dramatic Bitch:** one step ahead of you sis

**_~Yarinose Bitch Club☆~_ **

**Dramatic Bitch:** i got the okay from his other owner

 **Dramatic Bitch:** narukami he’s yours for the weekend

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** Poggers.

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** Did I use that right?

 **Dramatic Bitch:** asljkdfbashjkdfasdjlasdhj.kabsdjhasku.dasdgaskduasvdgas

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** FUCK I’M SOBBINGGGGGGGGG

 **Sensible Bitch:** YU P L E A S E

 **Kurusu Kinne:** What? That’s what everyone’s saying now, right?

 **Sensible Bitch:** YES BUT IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD COMING FROM YOU

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** I’m trying to be hip with the kids. 

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Are you not?? A kid???

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** People say I act too mature.

 **Sensible Bitch:** it adds to your character

 **Dramatic Bitch:** someone’s gotta have the braincells in this group of world saving teenagers lol

 **Sensible Bitch:** akira you’re the only stupid bitch wildcard i’m sorry to say

 **Dramatic Bitch:** look this is d i s c r i m i n a t i o n

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** Yeah, and?

 **Dramatic Bitch:** i won’t stand for this i’m t e ll i n g,,,,,,

_-_ ** _Dramatic Bitch_ ** _has signed off-_

**Sensible Bitch:** does he think we care?

 **Ryoji’s Bitch:** Seems like it.

 **Sensible Bitch:** do we actually care?

 **Kurusu Kinnie:** Nope, not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to add notes at the end of this!!! Jeez... the ref is “Flyday Chinatown” by Yasuha.


	8. hard to explain

**_~Victorian Courtship Party~_ **

**Useless Lesbian: -** Incoming Transmission from Mothership Isshiki-

**Useless Lesbian:** _ ren isshiki-amamiya if you don’t come wash the dishes you will feel my wrath and feel it swiftly. _

**Useless Lesbian:** -Ending Transmission from Mothership Isshiki-

**Corn Lad:** ooooo reneeend in trubke

**Useless Lesbian:** ryuji what

**Corn Lad:** rnes infufyjin tobuklleeee

**Mother Dearest:** ignore him he just got his wisdom teeth removed

**Mother Dearest:** the idiot insisted on trying to be independent but me and shiho are looking after him

**Mother Dearest:** that doesn’t stop him from being an idiot tho lmao 

_ - _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ added  _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ to  _ **_Victorian Courtship Party_ ** _ - _

**Shihoe:** this dumbass tried to fight the train as it rolled to a stop

**Shihoe:** we went to go get his prescription pain meds and he was standing in the soap aisle and murmuring to himself

**Shihoe:** rlly said some ‘sœp’

**Useless Lesbian:** JSBSJWBSKSBAWKANAMANWM

**Dramatic Bitch:** wait isshiki-san is gonna get me,

**Dramatic Bitch:** w h y?

**Corn Lad:** dimshes 

**Useless Lesbian:** what he said

**Dramatic Bitch:** shit.

_ - _ **_Dramatic Bitch_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Useless Lesbian:** _ akirafootsteps.wav  _

**Useless Lesbian:** THERE HE GO

**Corn Lad:** odhit 

**Corn Lad:** hes runninf 

**Corn Lad:** fastas fuck bouiu 

**Mother Dearest:** ryuji please go to sleep 

**Corn Lad:** jo ut not my mom

**Shihoe:** you forget I have your moms number tho 

**Shihoe:** I’ll call her you know I don’t have morals

**Corn Lad:** no wait pkese dot call my mom

**Mother Dearest:** That’s the most coherent thought he’s had in three hours. Holy shit.

**Useless Lesbian:** WAIT MY MOM IS CHEWING AKIRA OUT

**Useless Lesbian:** ITS FUNNY AS FUCK BC SHE TALKS JUST LIKE ME AND IS SHORTER THAN HIM

**Useless Lesbian:** _ momandakira.jpg _

**Kurusu Kinnie:** If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Akira looks like the parent in this situation.

**Useless Lesbian:** she just asked him to stoop down LMAOOOOO

**Useless Lesbian:** my mom’s not the most intimidating person but when she’s mad she get big mad

**Useless Lesbian:** sojiro is standing in the corner looking awkward as ever,

**Useless Lesbian:** o shit mom saw me

**Useless Lesbian:** fotta 

**Useless Lesbian:** hello? -wkb 

**Useless Lesbian:** this is The Mothership speaking. -wkb

**Useless Lesbian:** i’m not sure what kind of silly shenanigans my children have gotten up to, but either way i wanted to be included. hello fellow teenagers. -wkb

**Useless Lesbian:** who all is who? -wkb

**Mother Dearest:** this is takamaki-chan! hi isshiki-san!!! you haven’t met the others in this group chat because they’re from other parts of japan, haha

**Mother Dearest:** if you have a phone I could maybe add you in?

**Useless Lesbian:** that sounds lovely, but i’ll have to decline. -wkb

**Useless Lesbian:** baba-chan gets embarrassed when i interact with her friends, and i’d like to spare her that. -wkb 

**Useless Lesbian:** goodbye for now, fellow teenagers. -wkb

**Dramatic Bitch:** so, old lady, how do you feel? >:3c

**Useless Lesbian:** go to hell renren 

**Dramatic Bitch:** :(

_ - _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ changed  _ **_Dramatic Bitch_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_RenRen_ ** _ - _

_ - _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ changed  _ **_Useless Lesbian_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Baba-chan_ ** _ - _

**Mother Dearest:** nobody’s allowed to change their names. they’re perfect.

**Baba-chan:** Ann why must you torment us so

**RenRen:** we trusted you

**Mother Dearest:** any chance to tease you two is a chance I will take gladly.

**Shihoe:** LMAOOOOOO

**Shihoe:** anybody else got embarrassing childhood nicknames they’d like to share with the class

_ - _ **_Prince_ ** _ changed  _ **_Kurusu Kinnie_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Yu-boo_ ** _ - _

**Prince:** found out recently that my partner’s parents used to call him that when he was a kid

**Prince:** cutest shit i’ve ever heard

_ - _ **_Yu-boo_ ** _ changed  _ **_Prince_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Cubby_ ** _ - _

**Yu-boo:** Et tu, brute?

**Cubby:** that’s cold, partner.

**Cubby:** real cold.

**Mother Dearest:** oooh the hallmark couple is fiiightiiiing

**Mother Dearest:** you can’t just change his name and not give us the tea narukami cmon now

**Yu-boo:** I heard from a little birdie that a certain Junes Prince was very obsessed with red pandas when he was little.

**Yu-boo:** That little birdie also told me that that nickname came about because of it. And they still call the Prince in question that name from time to time.

**Brood:** …

_ - _ **_Brood_ ** _ changed  _ **_Sensible Bitch_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Koko Bean_ ** _ - _

**Koko Bean:** SHINJI YOU BASTARD

**Koko Bean:** I SHARED THAT WITH YOU IN CONFIDENCE

_ - _ **_Brood_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Koko Bean:** Toto is lucky he isn’t here. He is SOOOO lucky.

**RenRen:** tell us his nickname anyway lol

**RenRen:** based on what you’re telling me it aint just toto

**Koko Bean:** nah, toto is the nickname i gave him

**Koko Bean:** our parents used to call him mim bim

**Koko Bean:** it’s a simple ass nickname but he h a t e s it its so fucking funny

**Koko Bean:** i like to get on his nerves by calling him mim bim when i want something from him lol

**Koko Bean:** works like a charm cuz he’ll give me stuff to make me leave him alone

**Mother Dearest:** the wildcard tea blend is delicious i’m LOVING IT

**Mother Dearest:** also mim bim is such a cute nickname

_ - _ **_Shihoe_ ** _ changed  _ **_Mother Dearest_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Annie Bananie-_ **

**Shihoe:** ;) luv u babe but this is way cuter

**Annie Bananie:** you know what it was fun when everyone else was getting exposed but not anymore gdi

**_~Yarinose Bitch Club☆~_ **

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Minako, I’ll kill you.

**Koko Bean:** whaaat did i dooooo

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Why is this  _ theaccursedname.jpg _ happening.

**Ryoji’s Bitch:** Who did you tell.

_ - _ **_RenRen_ ** _ changed  _ **_Ryoji’s Bitch_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Mim Bim_ ** _ - _

**RenRen:** everyone else is their embarrassing childhood nicknames

**RenRen:** don’t be a party pooper mim bim

**Mim Bim:** You’re going to die next.

**Yu-boo:** You know, it kind of suits you.

**Yu-boo:** Makes you sound properly tiny. Minato is such a… Grown up name. 

**Mim Bim:** …

**Mim Bim:** Watch your back, Narukami. And your fucking kneecaps.

**Koko Bean:** it’s not our fault you’re literally the shortest wildcard

**Koko Bean:** tiny ass

**Mim Bim:** I’m literally taller than you.

**Koko Bean:** not anymore I grew

**Koko Bean:** im 170 cm now bitch

**Mim Bim:** That’s five centimeters taller than me. Wooow. So tall.

**Koko Bean:** at least I don’t have to crane my neck to look at narukami and akira when we talk

**Koko Bean:** bitch

**RenRen:** ooooo Minato you’re just gonna sit there and take that??

**Mim Bim:** At least my boyfriend is a reasonable height compared to me.

**Mim Bim:** Bitch.

**Koko Bean:** nah nuh uh stop right there

**Koko Bean:** roll back the log emo boy

**Koko Bean:** Ryoji is NOT a reasonable height compared to you

**Mim Bim:** How so?

**Yu-boo:** You’re a little under his shoulder. Him and I are almost the same height, I think.

**Mim Bim:** No? Ryoji isn’t that tall.

**Koko Bean:** take a picture standing next to him right now I know you two are in the same room

**Mim Bim:** …

**Mim Bim:** He’s taking a nap on my bed. I’m not waking him up for something so stupid.

**Koko Bean:** lay down next to him, then

**Koko Bean:** take the picture or die

**Mim Bim:** Fine. If it’ll get you off my ass.

**Mim Bim:** … So I’ve gotten myself into a pickle.

**Mim Bim:** _ help.jpg _

**Koko Bean:** any bad blood between us is now eradicated holy shit.

**RenRen:** he’s???? Holding you so tight???? Is he okay????

**Mim Bim:** The minute I laid down next to him he wrapped his arms around my waist and started holding me like a teddy bear.

**Mim Bim:** He’s nuzzling into my neck. What do I do. What if he can feel how warm I am. What the fuck.

**Mim Bim:** oh shit I think he’s having a nightmare guys help I don’t know what to do he’s holding me way too tight

**Mim Bim:** HES WAKING UP GUYS PLEASE HELP

**Mim Bim:** shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit s h i t

_ - _ **_Mim Bim_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**Yu-boo** : Minako, I think you should go check on him…

**Koko Bean:** nah, he’ll be fine

**Koko Bean:** they’re overdue for “platonic cuddling” anyway lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit of wakaba in this chapter, for flavor. I think I’m going to wrap this up in about three more chapters (including the masquerade) so look forward to that :> thank you for reading <3 title ref is “Hard To Explain” by The Strokes.


	9. next lifetime

**_~ Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Execution Squad (SEES) ~_ **

**Baby Gay:** Hey, um, you guys? 

**Baby Gay:** Did anyone else get this… weird card thing in the mail?

**Baby Gay:** _ card.jpg _

**Useless Lesbian:** whassit say

**Useless Lesbian:** it’s like 9 in the morning i can’t read until 1pm fool

**Baby Gay:** “Ryoji Mochizuki, man of the moon, you have caught our eyes with your heart that shines like a heavenly body. We cordially invite you to join us for a night most magical, dear  _ Pharos, _ and encourage you to link with the stars that match your moon. Sincerely, the Orchestrators of Midnight Trickery.”

**Baby Gay:** There’s also a time, a date, and a location… Is this an invitation to get robbed, or something? (・・？)

**Minerva:** No, I don’t believe so.

**Minerva:** I received a similar invitation myself. I believe it’s for a party.

**Dragon:** oh l got a card like that too!! 

**Foxy Grandpa:** As did I.

**Cubby:** me too

**Useless Lesbian:** same lol

**Baby Gay:** It’s all quite odd… oh, there’s another package for me, too! It’s heavy… ( •᷄⌓•᷅ )

**Baby Gay:** Oh? There’s… a suit in here. And a mask. Is the party some sort of masquerade?

**Minerva:** I have reason to suspect as such. Will you be attending, Mochizuki?

**Baby Gay:** I don’t see why not! It seems like it’ll be fun. (ฅ`ω´ฅ)

**Baby Gay:** Reading the invitation again, it seems like I’ll need a plus one.

**Baby Gay:** Who’d like to do me the honors~? (￣∇￣*)ゞ

**Useless Lesbian:** oh you poor baby gay

**Useless Lesbian:** i already have my plus one

**Minerva:** As do I.

**Foxy Grandpa:** I’ve a plus two, actually. But the sentiment still stands.

**Cubby:** sorry man, already got my plus one too-

**Annie Bananie:** :( I think we all do ryoji 

**Baby Gay:** That’s okay! Although, I wonder who else in the world I could ask… (*’ｪ’*)

**Baby Gay:** Oh! I know!

~ **Yarinose Bitch Club☆** ~

**Mim Bim:** So I got this in the mail today. With a weird heavy box.

**Mim Bim:** _ invitationmaybe.jpg _

**Mim Bim:** It says “Minato Arisato, born of the stars, our attention is stuck on your heart that twinkles quietly like the heavens above. We cordially invite you to join us for a night most magical, dear  _ Messiah _ , and encourage you to join with the moon that completes your starry sky. Sincerely, the Orchestrators of Midnight Trickery.”

**Mim Bim:** There’s a date and time and stuff too.

**Mim Bim:** Did you guys get something like this?

**Yu-boo:** Yes, actually.

**Koko Bean:** uh huh

**RenRen:** yep

**RenRen:** weirdest party invitation I’ve ever gotten ngl

**Mim Bim:** Are you guys gonna go?

**Koko Bean:** hell yeah

**Koko Bean:** id never pass up an opportunity to party

**Koko Bean:** plus it seems like it’ll be fun

**Koko Bean:** dancing with aki and shinji………… that’s amore……… 

**Mim Bim:** Oh, right, it does say you need a plus one. 

**Mim Bim:** Shit, everyone else I know is probably going together already…

**Mim Bim:** And I don’t think Aegis would really like something like that.

**RenRen:** why not ask ryoji? im sure he’d love to go with you

**Mim Bim:** …

**Mim Bim:** I was a little on the fence, but I guess there’s no point in not doing it, huh? 

**Mim Bim:** Sure. I’ll bite.

_ ~ _ **_Victorian Courtship Party_ ** _ ~ _

**RenRen:** ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE

**Minerva:** I can confirm. Mochizuki is primed and ready to ask Arisato.

**Koko Bean:** and mim bim is all set to ask ryoji!

**Annie Bananie:** never thought this would ever happen in my life I could cry,

**Sherlock:** We really did a good job, didn’t we?

**Idol:** hell yeah we did!!!!

**Idol:** everyone got their outfits, right?? They fit well and everything??

**Lucia:** yes ma’am!

**Lucia:** you and kanji-kun did a great job :)

**Zeus:** thx

**Zeus:** it was a lil hard but we made it work

**Foxy Grandpa:** I also hope that the masks were to everyone’s liking?

**Scarlet:** more than liking~!!

**Scarlet:** they’re lovely, yusuke~

**Foxy Grandpa:** Truly, I am relieved to hear that. 

**Foxy Grandpa:** I worked very hard.

**Dragon:** so what’s everybody doing for transportation?

**Yu-boo:** Yosuke and I are catching the train. In fact, we leave tomorrow.

**Boxer:** same here with shinji, minako and I.

**Idol:** I think everyone’s catching the train, lol

**RenRen:** everybody has a place to stay, right?

**Minerva:** Us members of SEES do. I booked a hotel for us all.

**Yu-boo:** … Same for the investigation team.

**Useless Lesbian:** o shit kamikami and mitsuru are flexing their money

**Useless Lesbian:** hikarin you’re staying at my house right

**Director:** If Sakura-san and Isshiki-san will allow me to! :>

**Useless Lesbian:** ye they said that was cool

**RenRen:** morgana is all boxed up and ready to go, yu 

**Yu-boo:** Nice.

**Shihoe:** somehow, im nervous as hell oops

**Shihoe:** but we got this far so it has to go well!!!

**Goro Akechi:** I would be quite disappointed if it didn’t.

**Corn Lad:** yeah same

**Queen:** There’s no use in worrying about things going wrong though, right?

**Noir:** We just have to do it and do it well! 

**Ribbon:** I Suppose I Am Somewhat Excited Myself.

**Ribbon:** My Outfit Is Very Lovely.

**Lucia:** that’s the spirit, Aegis!

**Koko Bean:** well… that settles it.

**Koko Bean:** I need to go pack, so…

**Koko Bean:** until sunday, you guys!!!!! 

_ - _ **_Koko Bean_ ** _ has signed off.- _

**RenRen:** okay, everyone.

**RenRen:** make sure you’re ready for sunday.

**RenRen:** see you then.

_ - _ **_Baby Gay_ ** _ to  _ **_Mim Bim_ ** _ - _

**Baby Gay:** Minato?

**Mim Bim:** Ryoji?

**Baby Gay:** Oh, what a coincidence! We texted each other at the same time. (*･ω･)ﾉ”

**Mim Bim:** Yeah, it is.

**Baby Gay:** I wanted to ask you something, but if you needed something from me, we can take care of that first?

**Mim Bim:** Nah, I wanted to ask you something too. You go first.

**Baby Gay:** If you insist! (◍ ´꒳` ◍)b

**Baby Gay:** I received an invitation in the mail today inviting me to a masquerade party, and in order to attend you need a plus one.

**Baby Gay:** I was wondering if… you would like to attend? As my plus one, of course… (〃´▽｀〃)

**Mim Bim:** Hmm. It’s funny.

**Mim Bim:** I was going to ask you the same thing. 

**Mim Bim:** I’d love to, Ryoji. If you’ll be mine as well?

**Baby Gay:** I’d like nothing more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, everyone, this is it. Next chapter is the masquerade! Jeez, this was a really fun project to undertake. I think now that it’s reaching its completion, I’ll be able to focus on my other stuff. I was in a really bad writing block for a while (hence no updates and stuff) and college was keeping me busy (mentally and physically), so this was exactly what I needed to break that cycle. Thanks for sticking with me through this chaos! Next chapter’s gonna be a knockout, I promise :> title ref is Next Lifetime by Erykah Badu.


	10. slow dancing in the dark

Twenty minutes before the party, and Akira wasn’t anywhere near ready. His suit was on and pressed to perfection, and his mask ready to don, but he couldn’t call himself ready by a longshot. Usually this sort of scene was his lifeblood; he thrived on the attention and loved being at the center of affairs. And yet, something about this felt different. Like a life or death situation. Which, it kind of was? Less life _or_ death, more life _and_ death. Thinking about it made Akira’s head spin. Could he really do this? 

“Yo, Akira, you ready? We gotta start greeting people ‘n takin’ invitations ‘n shit soon.” Ryuji, eager as ever, ruffled a hand in his hair. “Don’t start worryin’ now! ‘S too late for that. Yusuke’s already gone downstairs.”

“Y-Yeah, I’m ready, I just…” he paused. “I feel a little unsure. I know this is going to go well, but I can’t help but to worry. What if they don’t—“

Akira’s train of thought was interrupted by a soft pair of lips on his cheek. He short circuited for a second, melting into the affection with a quiet noise of defeat. Leave it to Ryuji to know how to break him down easily.

“I’m tellin’ you, it’s gonna be fine. You’re good at this kinda shit. And you’ve got us to support you, dude. Now stop tearin’ your hair out about it and let’s ‘effin party!”

“...Thanks, Ryuji. Let’s do this.”

* * *

> _can i get a read on everyone’s location?_
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Almost there. The subway is pretty packed this late at night.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** mitsuru got us a limo lol
> 
> **Koko Bean:** we could’ve come get you guys if you told us
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Nah, it’s okay. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Tokyo’s nightlife.
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Yosuke is definitely enjoying it a lot. Look.
> 
> **Yu-boo:** _partner.jpg_
> 
> **Yu-boo:** I think he missed this a lot. I’m happy to see him happy.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** oh! almost forgot to mention
> 
> **Koko Bean:** we staged things so that ryoji and toto will get here a little later than the rest of us
> 
> **Koko Bean:** they’re taking a separate car bc ours is like jam packed 
> 
> **Koko Bean:** but mitsuru tipped off the driver to get a little lost on the way ;)
> 
> _devious. i love it._
> 
> _everyone’s got their invitations, right?_
> 
> **Koko Bean:** yessir
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Yup.
> 
> _good. remember the plan, we’ll all meet up when you two get here, and everything’s gonna be good, and we’ll be all gucci._
> 
> **Yu-boo:** You okay, Ren?
> 
> **Koko Bean:** you sound like you’re about to lose it dude…
> 
> _I’m fine_
> 
> _just trying to hype myself up_
> 
> _this is a really big thing for me_
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Totally understandable.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** ganbatte!!!!
> 
> **Koko Bean:** mitsuru says we’re close. see you guys in a few.

* * *

Minako had to admit; the Phantom Thieves definitely had a taste for theatrics.

Haru’s home was decked out to the nines, and those entering followed suit. There was a red carpet laid out all the way to the front entrance, and the milling throngs of people sparkled like gems in the moonlight. Akihiko and Shinjiro were linking arms with her, almost as if they were her escorts and not her partners. That spell was broken when Akihiko leaned his head onto hers with a smile, letting go of her arm to snake his hand around her waist.

“This really is something, isn’t it?” he mused. “I’d had a few brushes with luxury because of Mitsuru, but this is a whole different universe.”

“Yeah. A girl could get used to this kind of spoiling. Couldn’t you, Shinji?” Minako elbowed him as best she could. 

“...Definitely. Usually this isn’t my kind of scene, but even I can admit it’s kind of nice. Aki, c’mere.” Shinjiro replied with a sigh, fiddling with his boyfriend’s bowtie. “Your tie is crooked. Again.”

“Shinji, stop, it’s fine—“

Minako broke away from the pair, choosing to run ahead to meet up with the other wildcards. They’d agreed to get together before the swing of things to plan out the night for her brother, and she didn’t want to miss a bit of it.

She spotted them in the midst of the crowd pretty easily; Akira had broken away from the throng of those entering to stand with Yū, a sheepish smile plastered across his face. From what Minako could tell, Yū was praising him to high heaven. As she came into earshot, her suspicions were confirmed and then some.

“—And the decorations are stunning, Akira, really, you did a lovely job. I don’t know why you’re so worried!”

“What’s up, losers? Stuck without a date, huh?” she butted into the conversation with ease, thumping each of their backs with a hand. “That’s pretty sad, y’know?”

“Hello to you too, Minako,” Yū said with a smirk. “Good to see you’re in high spirits. Akira’s still 

super nervous for no reason so I was trying to give him a pep talk.”

“I have to say, it was beginning to work,” Akira snickered and shook his head. “But still, I’m just worried about this going well. I’ve never hosted a party this big before. And Minato could kill us if he found out—“

“Look, don’t worry about Toto. Him and Ryoji have each other.” Minako pinched them both. “Worry about having a good time! Dancing with your partners, eating good food… live in the lap of luxury for tonight! And remember that we made the aliases for a reason! Use them!”

“Ah, that’s right, I forgot. Sorry, _Nexus_ , I didn’t mean to offend you.” Akira drew them both into a tight hug. Minako could see behind his mask that he was fighting back tears. “Thanks, you guys. You go enjoy the party, okay? I’ll hold down the hosting shit just fine.”

“Can do,” chirped Yū. “Do your best, Joker. I’m going to go find Yos— _Prince_. This code name stuff is hard.”

Minako fought back a laugh with a cough and broke from the huddle, calling for Akihiko and Shinjiro as she wandered around. 

* * *

> _hey has anyone seen shinji and aki?_
> 
> _or, well, brood and boxer..._
> 
> _i lost them while taking care of some stuff and can’t find them oops_
> 
> **Brood:** were over by the punch table
> 
> **Brood:** aki met up with chie and they wont stop talking about training strategies
> 
> **Dragon:** codenames!!!!!
> 
> **Dragon:** i’m dragon, he’s boxer!!!!
> 
> **Brood:** whatever
> 
> **Brood:** nexus were not too far
> 
> **Brood:** ill wave so you can see us
> 
> _cool beans_
> 
> _oh i see you guys! makin my way over now_

* * *

Drunk didn’t even begin to explain how Yū felt. It was most likely a placebo effect (it wasn’t his first rodeo with that) but it was hitting him like a truck. Yosuke kept cutting him (very attractive) side eye glances, which only made things worse for the both of them. 

“Partner, are you sure you’re okay?” he whispered, putting a steady hand on Yū’s shoulder. “You look just about ready to keel over. “Do you have to pee, or somethin’?”

“Just fine. Never been better.” even through the haze over his mind, he could tell that his words were slurred to hell. “You worry too much.”

Before Yosuke could comment, Haru waltzed up to them, picturesque as always. A light blush was tickling her cheeks, and she had Makoto’s arm locked tight within her own. 

“You two are enjoying yourselves, yes? Kingpin certainly looks like he’s having a wonderful time.” her words were almost as slurred as his, which explained Makoto’s oddly concerned look. “Queen just will _not_ let me go…-”

“You can barely stand, Noir.” Makoto huffed and shook her head. “I’m making sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

“Oh, she’s placebo drunk too, huh? Partner here has the same problem,” Yosuke said, laughing all the while. Neither Makoto or Haru were laughing with him.

“Placebo…?” Haru raised an eyebrow, pulling herself together just a little. “What are you talking about?”

“‘S a thing that happens to me sometimes. That mocktail punch is a doozy.” Yū grinned at them.

Haru and Makoto glanced at each other for a second then turned around, exchanging a flurry of whispers that steadily grew louder and more frantic. Eventually, Makoto glanced back at him, a worried frown tugging at her lips.

“Narukami, which punch bowl have you been drinking from?” she mumbled, casting a glare at Yosuke. “And just how much punch have you drunk?”

“The left one..? And I dunno,” he slumped into Yosuke, becoming a giggling mess. “It was like, three cups. And ‘s Kingpin! Not Narukami.”

“...Yosuke, don’t be mad when we tell you this, dear, but-”

Yū didn’t stay to hear the rest of what Haru was talking about. Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t that interesting anyway. Instead he elected to wander around the ballroom floor, in search of something to satisfy his building hunger. The table of food and drinks was right in his line of sight, but no matter how far he walked he couldn’t get any closer to it. Odd. 

Yosuke’s voice was just barely ringing in his ears, shouting something that he couldn’t quite make out. Yū’s vision started to sway and warp, making him just a little nauseous. If he looked at the floor it wasn’t so bad, but if he looked at the floor he couldn’t see his destination. The two conflicting goals oscillated in his brain, vacating all his other thoughts in their wake. Yū kept looking up and down and up and down until-

* * *

> **Annie Bananie:** Is Kingpin okay?
> 
> **Annie Bananie:** he just ate shit and died right in front of the punch bowl lmao
> 
> **Cubby:** sigh.
> 
> **Cubby:** i’m coming to get him, he’s drunk as hell
> 
> **Idol:** LMAOOOOOOOO
> 
> **Idol:** the spiked punch got him huh
> 
> **Idol:** can’t believe senpai is fucking wasted
> 
> _Im not drunk_
> 
> _Im fine_
> 
> **Foxy Grandpa:** Perhaps we should remove the spiked punch entirely.
> 
> **Lucia:** i mean, on principle, yes, but…
> 
> **Lucia:** _senpaisofftheshits.jpg_ i’m enjoying this way too much.
> 
> _Really you guys im fine look see_
> 
> **_selgie.jpg_ **
> 
> _See this is a just fine kingopin_
> 
> **Cubby:** queen is there somewhere i can take him so he can sober up a little bit?
> 
> **Queen:** There’s a guest bedroom down the hall when you leave the ballroom. It’s the first door on your right.
> 
> **Cubby:** thanks. Hopefully this lug’ll get himself together before the party ends.
> 
> **Queen:** Keep us posted. And everyone else, please read the labels on the punch bowls carefully, for goodness’ sake…

* * *

Minato? O-Or, well, Messiah... I was wondering where you had gotten off to.” 

Ryoji shrugged off his suit jacket and pushed his mask up to rest in his hair, coming to stand next to Minato with a little smile. Rise and Kanji did a good job in dressing him; midnight blue was definitely his color. He just always looked nice in general.

_‘Just needed some fresh air. Sorry if I made you worry.’_ he signed, putting down his flute of punch at Ryoji’s approach. _‘The party atmosphere was starting to—’_

“Weigh down on you? I understand that completely.” he grinned. “Mind if I-”

_‘Keep me company? Nah. I figured you’d want to anyway. Heard you thinking from miles away. And you can just call me by my name. Don’t worry about that alias thing.’_

Ryoji chuckled and leaned on the banister, resting his chin in his hand. The moon was full and shining bright as ever, making the stars around it dazzlingly bright. The way the light played off Minato’s face made him swoon a little; the pale curve of his cheek looked perfect to hold when shrouded in the moonlight the way it was. 

_‘Staring is rude, you know. Especially thinking thoughts like that.’_ Minato cut him a grin, a light blush tickling its way across his face. Ryoji didn’t know that it was possible to stutter in sign language, but he had sure found a way to. _‘Though I’m flattered that you think that way.’_

“W-Well, it was just—“

_‘An observation? I know. I like that about you. You’re good at observing.’_

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

_‘You pay attention to the things most people wouldn’t care about. Stuff that other people would just look over without a second thought.’_

Ryoji looked away, feeling his own face get warm. How could Minato be so easy with his words? It was something he could never wrap his head around no matter how hard he tried. It’s like he was a whole different person when they were together. 

“It’s not something I do on purpose, really…” Ryoji elected to say. “I just… find it easier to observe. It’s always been that way, since I took this form. Not to make things weird.”

Minato said nothing, only electing to let out a small laugh. He didn’t have to say anything anyway; Ryoji could tell what he was thinking without even having to look at him. Their conversations always played out like that, especially when they were all by themselves. Minato usually wasn’t one for words at all, signed or spoken, so getting this much conversation out of him was something that Ryoji cherished.

' _Sorry, my voice is tired,’_ he signed slowly. _‘And I’ve got too much on my mind to speak out.’_

“It’s quite alright, Minato. I learned JSL for a reason.” he smiled back as warmly as he could muster. “Any conversation I have with you is lovely.”

Minato buried his face in his hands and let out a small huff, just barely hiding a smile behind his fingers. Did he say something embarrassing? Or was Minato that wrapped up in his thoughts?

“You’re not making it any easier for me, Ryoji.” he chuckled, his voice hoarse and barely audible. “When you say things so earnestly it makes me even more nervous.”

“Nervous? I’m sorry,” Ryoji made a move to bury his face in his scarf, and balked at its absence. “That’s the last thing I’d want.”

“It’s not you. It’s myself. I’m coming to terms with something that I should have a long time ago, but.. It’s hard. I’m not good with my feelings. Or talking”

“Minato, what are you-”

“Ryoji, I… I’ve come to realize that… that I like… no, no. I’ve realized that I love you. I… I’ve loved you for a long time.” The gap between Minato’s words was dizzying; a precipice that was felt as much as it was heard. “I was so afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But I can’t… I can’t sit and pretend like my feelings don’t exist. I understand if—“

“If I told you I’d loved you all this time, too, would you believe me?” Ryoji stepped closer, taking both of Minato’s hands in his own. “If I told you that I felt the same way, even down to protecting what we have… would you call me crazy? Because… B-Because…-“

“No, I wouldn’t. Because this is crazier.”

Minato stepped forward and bridged the gap between them, letting go of Ryoji’s hands to cradle his face with his own. The quiet yet bold intimacy was already enough to make Ryoji dizzy; but Minato gently pressing his lips to his own sent his head spinning off into the stratosphere. It was a chaste kiss that only lasted for but a moment, but to Ryoji, a being of eternity, it felt like several lifetimes all at once, crashing at his feet like waves at a shoreline. In that moment, he felt timeless; afloat in a sea of emotions that were melting him away with their warmth. 

He felt everything and nothing at once; felt the gentle tug of Minato’s arms around his waist urging him closer, felt the chill in the air dispel at the radiance of Minato’s body heat, and most importantly, felt the slight sting of something he couldn’t place on Minato’s lips. It tasted like cinnamon, and it shocked Ryoji out of his stupor, if even for a moment. 

“Minato,” he broke away to catch his breath, shooting Minato a playful glare. “Is that cinnamon lip balm?”

“...Maybe,” he replied sheepishly, not able to meet Ryoji’s gaze. “Minako bought it for me. I didn’t want to.. Not use it.”

“So not only was this a premeditated idea, you tried to kill me using my least favorite flavor in the world?” Ryoji laughed and pressed his forehead to Minato’s, bringing his hand up to stroke his cheek. “Some boyfriend you are.”

The word felt all too right dancing across Ryoji’s tongue. Boyfriend, boyfriend, _boyfriend_ . He couldn’t get enough of it. _My boyfriend. My boyfriend, Minato Arisato._ It felt right, and entirely _unreal_. 

Instead of trying to process the worry he felt building, Ryoji kissed Minato again. And again, and again, and again, until he memorized the curve of his lips and the way they moved. Residual feelings be damned.

Ryoji pulled his hands away for just a moment, curling one into a fist and rubbing his other palm on top. It was the one sign he thought he'd never get to use. Minato flushed a little before making the motion back at him, fighting back a smile that was twitching at the corners of his mouth.

“I’m taking this as a ‘yes, I’d like to go out with you’, I hope you know.” Minato said, holding him close again.

“You knew the answer to that question already, starlight.”

* * *

> **Koko Bean:** ryoji and minato are making out on the balcony lmaooooo
> 
> **RenRen:** i’d say thats a job well done, eh?
> 
> **RenRen:** good job, wildcards
> 
> **RenRen:** even if one of us did get almost blackout drunk in the process
> 
> **Yu-boo:** In my defense, the seniors are evil.
> 
> **Yu-boo:** And I did not get blackout drunk. Just… a little tipsy.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** a ‘little’ tipsy 
> 
> **Koko Bean:** sure, jan
> 
> _Don’t tease Narukami for being a lightweight._
> 
> _He can’t be great at everything._
> 
> **Koko Bean:** o shit minmin what’s up!!!!!
> 
> **Koko Bean:** you and ryoji done eating face my guy?
> 
> _Yeah, yeah, whatever._
> 
> _Thanks, you guys. From both of us._
> 
> _We’re forever in your debt ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭ -Ryoji_
> 
> **RenRen:** don’t sweat it. we’re just happy you two figured shit out
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Yeah. Don’t get too crazy out there on that balcony, you two.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** yeah, don’t want any little winged death juniors running around the dorms
> 
> **RenRen:** abhjsdhjkabdhjkasdbhajdkas
> 
> _Oh, go to hell you guys._
> 
> _Ryoji just said that was mean so I guess I’m sorry._
> 
> _(I’m not)_
> 
> **RenRen:** SBHDFJKSDBHJSDB
> 
> **Koko Bean:** damn. i can’t even be mad.
> 
> **Yu-boo:** Wanna meet up with our partners for one last dance? I think the band’s starting to wind down now and I wanna slow dance at least once.
> 
> **Koko Bean:** last one there is a rotten egg bYEEEE
> 
> _Like hell I’m gonna be a rotten egg. Later losers._

* * *

Minato pocketed his phone and slipped his hand into Ryoji’s, squeezing it gently. His palms felt soft and smooth, like everything he’d been imagining. 

He could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of Roll Back the Log! I hope you guys enjoyed this ride as much as I did. I don't really have much to say, besides... Ryomina supremacy. This is not the last you will be seeing of these two on my page, hehe~  
> Title ref is the ever alluring Slow Dancing in the Dark by Joji.

**Author's Note:**

> The playlists are linked; the first link is Ryoji’s, the second is Minato’s. I think they’re collaborative so feel free to add stuff if you’d like!!


End file.
